Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
Clare shivered. She was very tired of waiting.... It was inexplicable
that Alwynne should be late; but Clare with a half laugh, promised
Alwynne to forego her scolding if she would but come.... The dusk and
the wind and the silence were getting on her nerves.... The tick of the
hall clock, for instance, was aggressive, insistent, maddening in its
precise monotony.... Oh, unbearable! With a gesture that was hysterical
in its abandonment, Clare rose suddenly and flung into the hall, plucked
open the clock door, and removed the pendulum. The released wire waggled
foolishly into silence, like an idiot, tongue a-loll.
As the quiet hunted Clare into her sitting-room again, a little silver
wire flickered down the sky like a scared snake, and for an instant she
saw herself reflected in a convex mirror, a Clare bleached and shining
and askew, like a St. Michael in a stained-glass window. Dusk and the
thunder followed. The storm was beginning.
Clare moved about restlessly. She disliked storms. Her eyes ached, and
she was cramped with waiting, and Alwynne had not come. She would, of
course.... That woman had detained her, purposely, no doubt, and now
there was the storm to delay her.... But Alwynne would come.... Clare
smiled securely.
Again the lightning whipped across the heavens, and thunder roared in
its wake.
Clare went to the window and watched the sky. The pane of glass was
grateful to her hot forehead. She was too tired, too bruised and shaken
by her own recent anger to arrange her thoughts, to pose for the moment,
even to herself--of all audiences the most critical. The interview with
Elsbeth Loveday rehearsed itself incessantly, pricking, probing,
bludgeoning, in crescendo of intonation, innuendo, open attack, to the
final triumphant insult. Triumphant, because true. The insult could cut
through her defences and strike at her very self, because it was true.
Her pride agonised. She had thought herself shrouded, invulnerable. And
yet Elsbeth, whom of all women she had reckoned negligible, had guessed,
had pitied.... Yet even her enemy was forgotten, as she sat and
shuddered at the wound dealt; plucked and shrank, and plucked again at
the arrow-tip rankling in it still.
The hours had passed in an evil mazement. But Alwynne was to come....
She thought of Alwynne with shifting passions of relief and longing and
sheer crude lust for revenge. Alwynne would come.... Alwynne would
soothe and comfort, intuitive, never waiting for the cry for help.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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