Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
After the little coolness of the past few days (her aunt's fault
entirely, Alwynne knew, and so could be unruffled) Elsbeth's renewal of
sympathetic interest was very soothing. Alwynne was glad to foster it by
talking of Clare, and Clare, and nothing but Clare, for the rest of the
week. In church on Christmas morning, poor Elsbeth, settling her
spiritual accounts, begging forgiveness for uncharitable thoughts, and
assuring her Maker that she wished Clare no evil, could yet sigh for the
useful age of miracles, and patron saints, and devils, when a prayer in
the right quarter could transport your enemy to inaccessible islands of
the Antipodes. She would have been magnanimous, have bargained for every
comfort--Eden's climate and hot and cold water laid on--but the island
must be definitely inaccessible and Antipodean.
Clare, too, had spent her morning, if not in prayer, at least in
profound meditation. She felt stranded, and was wishing for Alwynne, and
anathematising the superfluous and intriguing aunt.
Clare made the mistake of all tortuous intelligences in being unable to
credit appearances. She was being, as usual, unjust to Elsbeth, Alwynne,
and the world at large. She could not believe in simplicity combined
with brains: a simple soul was necessarily a simpleton in her eyes.
Because her own words were ever two edged, her meaning flavoured by
reservations and implications, she literally could not accept a speech
as expressing no more and no less than its plain dictionary meaning.
With any one of her own type of mind she was at her ease; her mistake
lay in not recognising how rare that type was; in detecting subtleties
where none existed, and wasting hint, suggestion and innuendo on minds
that drove as heartily through them as an ox walks through a spider
thread stretched from post to gatepost of the meadow he means to enter.
Elsbeth, whom she had considered a negligible fool, had yesterday
startled her into respect--not for the kindly and selfless pleasure in
Alwynne's pleasure, that had, for all her little jealous anxieties,
prompted the invitation to Clare, but for the totally imaginary cunning
with which, in Clare's eyes, it had invested her. Alwynne's repetition
of Elsbeth's remark had enlightened Clare: enlightened her to qualities
in Elsbeth which Elsbeth herself would have been horrified to possess.
Clare saw, in the manner of the invitation, a gauntlet flung down, the
preliminaries to a conflict, with Alwynne herself for the prize; and the
first warning of an antagonist sufficiently like herself to be
considered dangerous, the more dangerous, indeed, for the apparently
uninteresting harmlessness that could mask a mind in reality so scheming
and so complex. She did not realise that if she did finally close with
Elsbeth, with the intention of robbing her of Alwynne, she would have
far more to fear from her simple, affectionate goodness of heart than
from any subtlety of intellect with which Clare was choosing to invest
her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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