He still thought he could write us letters that would do the paper some
eternal good, and though I told him, as he wrung my hand and left, to
refrain from writing or doing any work for us, he wrote a letter before he
had reached the home station on the stage road, or at least sent us a long
letter from there. It might have been written before he started, however.
The letter was of the “we-have-went” and “I-have-never-saw” variety, and
he spelt curiosity “qrossity.” He worked hard to get the word into his
alleged letter, and then assassinated it.
Well, we paid no attention whatever to the letter, but meantime he got
into the mines, and the way he dead-headed feed and sour mash, on the
strength of his relations with the press, made the older miners weep.
Buck Bramel got a little worried and wrote to me about it. He said that
our soft-eyed mining savant was getting us a good many subscribers, and
writing up every little gopher hole in North Park, and living on
Cincinnati quail, as we miners call bacon; but he said that none of these
fine, blooming letters, regarding the assays on “The Weasel Asleep,” “The
Pauper's Dream,” “The Mary Ellen” and “The Over Draft,” ever seemed to
crop out in the paper.
Why was it?
I wrote back that the white-eyed pelican from the buckwheat-enamelled
plains of Arkansas had not remitted, was not employed by us, and that I
would write and publish a little card of introduction for the bilious
litterateur that would make people take in their domestic animals, and
lock up their front fences and garden fountains.
In the meantime they sent him up the gulch to find some “float.” He had
wandered away from camp thirty miles before he remembered that he didn't
know what float looked like. Then he thought he would go back and inquire.
He got lost while in a dark brown study and drifted into the bosom of the
unknowable. He didn't miss the trail until a perpendicular wall of the
Rocky Mountains, about 900 feet high, rose up and hit him athwart the
nose.
[Illustration: COMMUNING WITH NATURE.]
He communed with nature and the coyotes one night and had a pretty tough
time of it. He froze his nose partially off, and the coyotes came and
gnawed his little dimpled toes. He passed a wretched night, and was
greatly annoyed by the cold, which at that elevation sends the mercury
toward zero all through the summer nights.
Of course he pulled the zodiac partially over him, and tried to button his
alapaca duster a little closer, but his sleep was troubled by the
sociability of the coyotes and the midnight twitter of the mountain lion.
He ate moss agates rare and spruce gum for breakfast. When he got to the
camp he looked like a forty-day starvationist hunting for a job.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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