Various suggestions were made; among them was the idea advanced by the
Most Highly Esteemed Inside Door-Slammer that, as the society's object
was, of course, to obtain funds, would it not be well to consider, in the
first place, whether it would not be as well for the Most Esteemed
Toolymuckahi to appoint six brethren in good standing to arm themselves
with great care, gird up their loins and muzzle the pay-car as it started
out on its mission. He simply offered this as a suggestion, and, as it was
a direct method of securing the coin necessary, he would move that such a
committee be appointed by the Chair to wait on the pay-car and draw on it
at sight.
The Most Esteemed Keeper of the Cork-screw seconded the motion, in order,
as he said, to get it before the house. This brought forward very hot
discussion, pending which the presiding officer could see very plainly
that the motion was unpopular.
A visiting brother from Yellowstone Park Creamery No. 17, stated that in
their society “an entertainment of this kind had been given for the
purpose of pouring a flood of wealth into the coffers of the society, and
it had been fairly successful. Among the attractions there had been
nothing of an immoral or lawless nature whatever. In the first place, a
kind of farewell oyster gorge had been given, with cove oysters as a
basis, and $2 a couple as an after-thought. A can of cove oysters
entertained thirty people and made $30 for the society. Besides, it was
found after the party had broken up that, owing to the adhesive properties
of the oysters, they were not eaten; but the juice, as it were, had been
scooped up and the puckered and corrugated gizzards of the sea had been
preserved. Acting upon this suggestion, the society had an oyster patty
debauch the following evening at $2 a couple. Forty suckers came and put
their means into the common fund. We didn't have enough oysters to quite
go around, so some of us cut a dozen out of an old boot leg, and the
entertainment was a great success. We also had other little devices for
making money, which worked admirably and yielded much profit to the
society. Those present also said that they had never enjoyed themselves so
much before. Many little games were played, which produced great merriment
and considerable coin. I could name a dozen devices for your society, if
desired, by which money could be made for your treasury, without the risk
or odium necessarily resulting from robbing the pay-car or a bank, and yet
the profit will be nearly as great in proportion to the work done.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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