We will agree to let you select the tender part of the steak, and such fruit as seems to strike you favorably, just as we did before. We did not like it when you were here, but that is because we were young and did not know what the custom was. If a life-time devoted to your welfare can obliterate the injustice we have done you, we will be glad to yield it to you. If you could suggest a good place for us to send the children, where they would be well taken care of, and where they would not interfere with some other cook who is a friend of yours, we would be glad to have you write us. My wife says she hopes you will feel perfectly free to use the piano whenever you are lonely or sad, and when you or the bread feel depressed you will be welcome to come into the parlor and lean up against either one of us and sob. We all know that when you were with us before we were a little reserved in our manner toward you, but if you come back it will be different. We will introduce you to more of our friends this time, and we hope you will do the same by us. Young people are apt to get above their business, and we admit that we were wrong. Come back and oversee our fritter bureau once more. Take the portfolio of our interior department. Try to forget our former coldness. Return, oh, wanderer, return! A New Play. The following letter was written, recently, in reply to a dramatist who proposed the matter of writing a play jointly. Hudson, Wis., Nov. 13, 1886. Scott Marble, Esq.--Dear Sir: I have just received your favor of yesterday, in which you ask me to unite with you in the construction of a new play. This idea has been suggested to me before, but not in such a way as to inaugurate the serious thought which your letter has stirred up in my seething mass of mind. I would like very much to unite with you in the erection of such a dramatic structure that people would cheerfully come to this country from Europe, and board with us for months in order to see this play every night. You will surely agree with me that someone ought to write a play. Why it has not been done long ago, I cannot understand. A well known comedian told me a year ago that he hadn't been able to look into a paper for sixteen months. He could not even read over the proof of his own press notices and criticisms, to ascertain whether the printer had set them up as he wrote them or not, simply because it took all his spare time off the stage to examine the manuscripts of plays that had been submitted to him. But I think we could arrange it so that we might together construct something in that line which would at least attract the attention of our families. Would you mind telling me, for instance, how you write a play? You have been in the business before, and you could tell me, of course, some of the salient points about it. Do you write it with a typewriter, or do you dictate your thoughts to someone who does not resent being dictated to?