“I ran across an American mining man, Col. Jack Ormsby, in Toronto, who told me a typical ‘George Ham Story.’ It appears that the two colonels were travelling together from New York to Washington. Never having met up before, they introduced each other in Western fashion. And after having said: ‘Well, what do you say if we have another one?’ which they had, the American colonel loosened up and explained that he had just come from Arizona to report to J. Pierpont Morgan on a mining proposition, (this was in 1905) and the ‘Old Man’ was so pleased that when his report was handed Mr. Morgan, and passed, Mr. Morgan presented the Colonel (not George) with a cheque for $15,000, the larger portion of which was given as a bonus. “ ‘I showed Mr. Ham the cheque,’ said Colonel Jack, ‘and he asked me if he might tear a small piece off the corner, and when I enquired what for?’ he said: ‘Well, if that whole bit of paper is worth $15,000, a small piece of it must surely be worth a few thousands—and I need the money.’ “The American colonel who told me this story added: ‘Now that struck me as a funny thing; but not any funnier than the mild and innocent expression on Mr. Ham’s face when he made the droll remark’.” And another one: “Here is something which you have probably forgotten. Robert Lincoln O’Brien, of the Boston _Herald_, is responsible for it. You were ‘meeting’ Theodore Roosevelt in the White House, the morning after the Gridiron Club dinner, back in 1904, I think. ‘Teddy’ was then President, and was in a very talkative mood, standing outside his office in the ante-room addressing his remarks especially to you, stating that when he got clear of his present ‘job,’ he intended to take a trip through Canada. “ ‘I hope you do,’ said G. H. H. cordially, ‘there’s only one man in the world who would be better or more cordially received than you, Mr. President—and that’s King Edward.’ Whereat President Roosevelt smilingly showed his teeth, seeing as how he generally knew a good thing when he heard it.” And still another: “Sam Blythe—he of _Saturday Evening Post_ fame—will vouch for this one. Mr. Ham, under his chaperonage was being escorted through the different congressional members’ rooms (States headquarters) in the Capitol at Washington. There was ‘apple-jack’ in the Jersey room; ‘moonshine’ in the Tennessee tee-pee; peach brandy and honey in the Delaware ‘hang-out,’ and ‘Bourbon’ in the Blue Grass state apartments. “ ‘How many States are there in this blooming Union of yours anyway, Sam?’ asked G. H. H. anxiously. “Some one said, ‘Not more than fifty.’ “G. H. H. looked relieved: ‘Oh, is that all—lead me to it.’ “Afterwards there was a steamed clam luncheon at Shoemaker’s; and Samuel said that George put them all to bed.” Guess that’s all right—but even Ananias would exaggerate. Canadian Club