This letter, then, we suppose written by a very old Forfarshire lady to her niece in England, and perhaps the young lady who received it might answer it in a style as strange to her aunt as her aunt's is to her, especially if she belonged to that lively class of our young female friends who indulge a little in phraseology which they have imbibed from their brothers, or male cousins, who have, perhaps for their amusement, encouraged them in its use. The answer, then, might be something like this; and without meaning to be severe or satirical upon our young lady friends, I may truly say that, though I never heard from one young lady _all_ these fast terms, I have heard the most of them separately from many:-- "My Dear Aunty--Many thanks for your kind letter and its enclosure. From my not knowing Scotch, I am not quite up to the mark, and some of the expressions I don't _twig_ at all. Willie is absent for a few days, but when he returns home he will explain it; he is quite _awake_ on all such things. I am glad you are pleased that Willie and I are now _spliced_. I am well aware that you will hear me spoken of in some quarters as a _fast_ young lady. A man here had the impudence to say that when he visited my husband's friends he would tell them so. I quietly and civilly replied, 'You be blowed!' So don't believe him. We get on famously at present. Willie comes home from the office every afternoon at five. We generally take a walk before dinner, and read and work if we don't go out; and I assure you we are very _jolly_. We don't know many people here yet. It is rather a _swell_ neighbourhood; and if we can't get in with the _nobs_, depend upon it we will never take up with any society that is decidedly _snobby. I_ daresay the girl you are sending will be very useful to us; our present one is an awful _slow coach_. In fact, the sending her to us was a regular _do_. But we hope some day to sport _buttons_. My father and mother paid us a visit last week. The _governor_ is well, and, notwithstanding years and infirmities, comes out quite a _jolly old cove_. He is, indeed, if you will pardon the partiality of a daughter, a regular _brick_. He says he will help us if we can't get on, and I make no doubt will in due time _fork out the tin_. I am busy working a cap for you, dear aunty; it is from a pretty German pattern, and I think when finished will be quite a _stunner_. There is a shop in Regent Street where I hire patterns, and can get six of them for five _bob_. I then return them without buying them, which I think a capital _dodge_. I hope you will sport it for my sake at your first _tea and turn out_. "I have nothing more to say particular, but am always "Your affectionate niece, "ELIZA DINGWALL."