The iiii Acte. The i Sceane.[716] D DOCTOR RAT. GAMMER GURTON. _D. Rat._ A man were better twenty times be a bandog and barke, Then here among such a sort be parish priest or clarke, Where he shall never be at rest one pissing while a day, But he must trudge about the towne, this way and that way; Here to a drab, there to a theefe, his shoes to teare and rent, 5 And that which is worst of al, at every knaves commaundement! I had not sit the space to drinke two pots of ale, But Gammer Gurtons sory boy was straite way at my taile, And she was sicke, and I must come, to do I wot not what! If once her fingers end but ake, trudge! call for Doctor Rat! 10 And when I come not at their call, I only therby loose; For I am sure to lacke therfore a tythe pyg or a goose. I warrant you, when truth is knowen, and told they have their tale, The matter where about I come is not worth a halfpeny worth of ale; Yet must I talke so sage and smothe, as though I were a glosier 15 Els, or the yere come at an end, I shal be sure the loser. What worke ye, Gammer Gurton? hoow? here is your frend M[ast] Rat. _Gammer._ A! good M[ast] Doctor! cha trebled, cha trebled you, chwot wel that! _D. Rat._ How do ye, woman? be ye lustie, or be ye not well at ease? _Gammer._ By gys, Master, cham not sick, but yet chave a disease.[717] 20 Chad a foule turne now of late, chill tell it you, by gigs! _D. Rat._ Hath your browne cow cast hir calfe, or your sandy sowe her pigs? _Gammer._ No, but chad ben as good they had as this, ich wot weel. _D. Rat._ What is the matter? _Gammer._ Alas, alas! cha lost my good neele! My neele, I say, and wot ye what, a drab came by and spied it, 25 And when I asked hir for the same, the filth flatly denied it. _D. Rat._ What was she that? _Gammer._ A dame, ich warrant you! She began to scold and brawle-- Alas, alas! Come hether, Hodge! this wr[e]tche can tell you all. The iiii. Acte. The ii Sceane.[718] HODGE. DOCTOR RAT. GAMMER. DICCON. CHAT. _Hodge._ God morow, Gaffer Vicar. _D. Rat._ Come on, fellow, let us heare! Thy dame hath sayd to me, thou knowest of all this geare; Lets see what thou canst saie.