_Chat._ The knave dare as well go hang himself, as go upon my ground. _Diccon._ Wel, yet take hede I say, I must tel you my tale round. Have you not about your house, behind your furnace or leade[723] A hole where a crafty knave may crepe in for neade? 95 _Chat._ Yes, by the masse, a hole broke down, even within these two dayes. _Diccon._ Hodge he intends this same night to slip in there awayes. _Chat._ O Christ! that I were sure of it! in faith he shuld have his mede! _Diccon._ Watch wel, for the knave wil be there as sure as is your crede. I wold spend my selfe a shilling to have him swinged well. 100 _Chat._ I am as glad as a woman can be of this thing to here tell. By Gogs bones, when he commeth, now that I know the matter, He shal sure at the first skip to leape in scalding water, With a worse turne besides; when he will, let him come. _Diccon._ I tell you as my sister; you know what meaneth "mum"! [724]Now lacke I but my doctor to play his part againe. 106 And lo where he commeth towards, peradventure to his paine! _D. Rat._ What good newes, Diccon, fellow? is Mother Chat at home? _Diccon._ She is, syr, and she is not, but it please her to whome; Yet did I take her tardy, as subtle as she was. 110 _D. Rat._ The thing that thou wentst for, hast thou brought it to passe? _Diccon._ I have done that I have done, be it worse, be it better, And Dame Chat at her wyts ende I have almost set her. _D. Rat._ Why, hast thou spied the neele? quickly, I pray thee, tell! _Diccon._ I have spyed it, in faith, sir, I handled my selfe so well; 115 And yet the crafty queane had almost take my trumpe. But or all came to an ende, I set her in a dumpe. _D. Rat._ How so, I pray thee, Diccon? _Diccon._ Mary, syr, will ye heare? She was clapt downe on the backside, by Cocks mother dere, And there she sat sewing a halter or a bande, 120 With no other thing save Gammers nedle in her hande. As soone as any knocke, if the filth be in doubte, She needes but once puffe, and her candle is out: Now I, sir, knowing of every doore the pin, Came nycely, and said no worde, till time I was within; 125 And there I sawe the neele, even with these two eyes; Who ever say the contrary, I will sweare he lyes. _D. Rat._ O Diccon, that I was not there then in thy steade! _Diccon._ Well, if ye will be ordred, and do by my reade, I will bring you to a place, as the house standes, 130 Where ye shall take the drab with the neele in hir handes. _D. Rat._ For Gods sake do so, Diccon, and I will gage my gowne To geve thee a full pot of the best ale in the towne.