This mournful bird can fry a sole, however, which is much. Can cook a
steak, too, which is more. I wonder where it gets its Sherry? If I were
to send my pint of wine to some famous chemist to be analysed, what would
it turn out to be made of? It tastes of pepper, sugar, bitter-almonds,
vinegar, warm knives, any flat drinks, and a little brandy. Would it
unman a Spanish exile by reminding him of his native land at all? I
think not. If there really be any townspeople out of the churchyards,
and if a caravan of them ever do dine, with a bottle of wine per man, in
this desert of the Dodo, it must make good for the doctor next day!
Where was the waiter born? How did he come here? Has he any hope of
getting away from here? Does he ever receive a letter, or take a ride
upon the railway, or see anything but the Dodo? Perhaps he has seen the
Berlin Wool. He appears to have a silent sorrow on him, and it may be
that. He clears the table; draws the dingy curtains of the great bow
window, which so unwillingly consent to meet, that they must be pinned
together; leaves me by the fire with my pint decanter, and a little thin
funnel-shaped wine-glass, and a plate of pale biscuits—in themselves
engendering desperation.
No book, no newspaper! I left the Arabian Nights in the railway
carriage, and have nothing to read but Bradshaw, and ‘that way madness
lies.’ Remembering what prisoners and ship-wrecked mariners have done to
exercise their minds in solitude, I repeat the multiplication table, the
pence table, and the shilling table: which are all the tables I happen to
know. What if I write something? The Dodo keeps no pens but steel pens;
and those I always stick through the paper, and can turn to no other
account.
What am I to do? Even if I could have the bandy-legged baby knocked up
and brought here, I could offer him nothing but sherry, and that would be
the death of him. He would never hold up his head again if he touched
it. I can’t go to bed, because I have conceived a mortal hatred for my
bedroom; and I can’t go away, because there is no train for my place of
destination until morning. To burn the biscuits will be but a fleeting
joy; still it is a temporary relief, and here they go on the fire! Shall
I break the plate? First let me look at the back, and see who made it.
COPELAND.
Copeland! Stop a moment. Was it yesterday I visited Copeland’s works,
and saw them making plates? In the confusion of travelling about, it
might be yesterday or it might be yesterday month; but I think it was
yesterday. I appeal to the plate. The plate says, decidedly, yesterday.
I find the plate, as I look at it, growing into a companion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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