Rest Harrow: A Comedy of ResolutionHewlett, Maurice
General
Rest Harrow: A Comedy of Resolution
Hewlett, Maurice
Fiction
The bravest gentleman, a poet, a thinker, a man like a beacon-fire, had
loved her and cried her aloud as a goddess out of his reach. “Farewell,
Sanchia, too dear for my possessing!” She had the words. And she had
passed him by for Nevile, who made her a housekeeper, and loved her
when he wanted solace. What more had Jack said? What, indeed, had he
not said? That her life was like the scent of bean-flowers over a
hedgerow--a fragrance caught in passing by wayfarers, whereby men and
women might thank God for a fair sight who had chanced upon her in the
street. Praise indeed! But he had loved her, and saw her so--and
all that was gone for ever. He had left her because he dared not do
otherwise, and now he was happy without her. Her new-found elation was
like to die in self-pity. It required more than the complacency inspired
by Mr. Worthington to clear her eyes.
Thus were the flowers laid up for her by an honest merchant changed for
a wreath of rue as he was reminded of his better--his better and (she
thought) hers, alas! A wave of desire to catch back at far-off things
played her a trick. She found herself yearning for her childhood, found
herself crying for her innocence, for the sweet scent of opening
life. Even as she longed and strained, she knew herself vain. But the
temptation for the semblance of what was gone was strong and took a
subtle form. If she could not have the thing, she would have the thing's
name; if she could not be innocent again, she would ape innocency.
Prodigal of Pity as she has been, she could say to Senhouse's ghost, I
am no more worthy of thee; and from that to being worthy was but a short
step. The rest of her sojourn abroad was preparation for what was to be
done on her return home.
Her treasure lay hidden there, in a desk in her room: three portly
packets of letters, tied with ribbon, and labelled “Jack to Me.” Stained
and yellow, she now turned over the pages, and inhaled the faint, sweet
scent of them--a scent as of lavender and tears. Her eyes filled, her
heart beat; but she read on and on. Impossible praises! Love beyond
reason, without bounds--immeasurable homage! Did any man ever--save
Dante--love a woman so greatly, set her so high? So presently she was
caught up into a kind of heaven of wonder, and spent a night with the
past.... From that she arose clear-eyed to meet the future. If she had
been so loved, so served by man so generous and so fine, the rest of her
life might well be spent in testimony. Her single aim now should be to
recover herself, to be what he had once seen her. And for all this high
remembrance and high hope--thanks to Mr. Cyrus Worthington!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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