Rest Harrow: A Comedy of ResolutionHewlett, Maurice
General
Rest Harrow: A Comedy of Resolution
Hewlett, Maurice
Fiction
He interested her greatly; she was conscious of anxiety to learn his
opinion, of a wave of warm feeling when she awaited it. She credited him
with insight, had a notion, for instance, that she could discuss her
own affairs without any preliminary apology. He took so much for
granted--surely he would take her youth into full account. She had never
said to him a word of herself as yet; but there had been times when she
had felt near it--had seen herself rowing a boat, as it were, within
range of a weir, been conscious of effort to keep a straight course, and
of the fruitlessness of effort. There had been moments when she had
been tempted to throw down her oars with a sigh--by no means of despair.
Morosine seemed to her so extraordinarily reasonable, so ready, with
well-known laws, to account for unheard of vagaries, that it would
have been real luxury to her to find herself and her escapade the mere
creatures of some such law. To be discovered normal: what a relief from
strain!
Lady Maria, it seems, charged him with Oriental aptitudes. Sanchia gave
that judgment careful attention, studied her friend in the light of it,
weighed every word of his to her, watched him closely in company when he
could not be aware of it. She decided against the opinion. His manners
with women were his manners with men, those of urbane indifference to
sex. To sex! To much more than that. He was, in fact, outwardly polite
to the point of formality; but his attitude of mind towards the person
he happened to be with seemed to her--when she examined it closely--to
be sublimely insulting. No created thing, with the passions and
affections common to his kind, ought to take up such a position with
his fellow-creature--that which says, “I infer your existence from my
sensations: apart from them, I cannot bring myself to believe in it.”
She was aware that he must needs regard her from this stand-point, and
the knowledge piqued her. If she did not exist for him, why did he seek
her out? If she did, why did he pretend she did not? Or was Lady Maria
right? Were his sensations awake, and had they fired his imagination, to
carry her to Cythera, and keep her hidden there? These questions amused
her, and she made no attempt to answer them. Amusement might cease that
way: she indulged herself and left her questions open. One thing may be
added. Morosine no longer reminded her of Senhouse. Quite otherwise--for
of Senhouse just now she dared not think.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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