"This will be painful; for vaine thoughts will presse into thy heart
very thick, to draw thy minde down to them. And in doing thus, thou
shalt find somewhat, but not Jesus whom thou seekest, but onely a naked
remembrance of his name. But what then shalt thou finde? Surely this;
A darke and ill-favoured image of thy owne soule, which hath neither
light of knowledge nor feeling of love of God.... This is not the image
of Jesus, but the image of sin, which St Paul calleth a _body of sinne
and of death_.... Peradventure now thou beginnest to thinke with thy
selfe what this image is like, and that thou shouldst not study much
upon it, I will tell thee. It is like no bodily thing; What is it then
saist thou? Verily it is _nought_, or no reall thing, as thou shalt
finde, if thou try by doing as I have spoken; that is, draw in thy
thoughts into thy selfe from all bodily things, and then shalt thou
find right _nought_ wherein thy soule may rest.
"This _nothing_ is nought else but darknesse of conscience, and a
lacking of the love of God and of light; as sin is nought but a want
of good, if it were so that the ground of sin was much abated and
dryed up in thee, and thy soule was reformed right as the image of
Jesus; then if thou didst draw into thy selfe thy heart, thou shouldst
not find this _Nought_, but thou shouldst find Jesus; not only the
naked remembrance of this name, but Jesus Christ in thy soule readily
teaching thee, thou shouldst there find light of understanding, and
no darknesse of ignorance, a love and liking of him; and no pain of
bitternesse, heavinesse, or tediousenesse of him....
"And here also thou must beware that thou take Jesus Christ into thy
thoughts against this darknesse in thy mind, by busie prayer and
fervent desire to God, not setting the point of thy thoughts on that
foresaid _Nought_, but on Jesus Christ whom thou desirest. Think
stifly on his passion, and on his Humility, and through his might thou
shalt arise. Do as if thou wouldst beate downe this darke image, and
go through-stitch with it. Thou shalt hate ('agryse') and loath this
darknesse and this _Nought_, just as the Devill, and thou shalt despise
and all to break it ('brest it').
"For within this Nought is Jesus hid in his joy, whom thou shalt not
finde with all thy seeking, unlesse thou passe this darknesse of
conscience.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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