Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the HeartMitchell, Donald Grant
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Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the Heart
Mitchell, Donald Grant
American essays -- 19th century
They wrote me afterward that he died, and was buried in a far-away
place, where his wife once lived, and where he now sleeps beside her.
Isabel was sick with grief, and came to live for a time with Lilly; but
when they wrote me last she had gone back to her old home—where Tray was
buried—where we had played together so often through the long days of
summer.
I was glad I should find her there when I came back. Lilly and Ben were
both living nearer to the city when I landed from my long journey over
the seas; but still I went to find Isabel first. Perhaps I had heard so
much oftener from the others that I felt less eager to see them; or
perhaps I wanted to save my best visits to the last; or perhaps (I did
think it), perhaps I loved Isabel better than them all.
So I went into the country, thinking all the way how she must have
changed since I left. She must be now nineteen or twenty; and then her
grief must have saddened her face somewhat; but I thought I should like
her all the better for that. Then perhaps she would not laugh and tease
me, but would be quieter, and wear a sweet smile—so calm and beautiful,
I thought. Her figure, too, must have grown more elegant, and she would
have more dignity in her air.
I shuddered a little at this, for, I thought, she will hardly think so
much of me then; perhaps she will have seen those whom she likes a great
deal better. Perhaps she will not like me at all; yet I knew very well
that I should like her.
I had gone up almost to the house; I had passed the stream where we
fished on that day, many years before; and I thought that now, since she
was grown to womanhood, I should never sit with her there again, and
surely never drag her as I did out of the water, and never chafe her
little hands, and never, perhaps, kiss her, as I did when she sat upon
my mother’s lap—oh, no—no—no!
I saw where we buried Tray, but the old slab was gone; there was no
ribbon there now. I thought that at least Isabel would have replaced the
slab, but it was a wrong thought. I trembled when I went up to the door,
for it flashed upon me that perhaps Isabel was married. I could not tell
why she should not; but I knew it would make me uncomfortable to hear
that she had.
There was a tall woman who opened the door; she did not know me, but I
recognized her as one of the old servants. I asked after the housekeeper
first, thinking I would surprise Isabel. My heart fluttered somewhat,
thinking that she might step in suddenly herself—or perhaps that she
might have seen me coming up the hill. But even then I thought she would
hardly know me.
Presently the housekeeper came in, looking very grave; she asked if the
gentleman wished to see her.
The gentleman did wish it, and she sat down on one side of the fire—for
it was autumn, and the leaves were falling, and the November winds were
very chilly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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