California -- History -- Fiction; Rezanov, Nikolai Petrovich, 1764-1807 -- Fiction
Father Abella, not without a glimmering of the truth, for better than
any one he understood the girl he had confessed many times, besides
himself having succumbed to the Russian, led the way to the
confessional in some perturbation of spirit. He walked slowly, hoping
that the long, cool church, its narrow high windows admitting so scant
a meed of sunlight that no one of its worshippers had ever read the
legends on the walls, and even the stations were but deeper bits of
shade, would attune her mind to holy things, and throw a mantle of
unreality over those of the world.
He covered his face with his hand as she told her story. This she did
in a few words, disjointed, for she was both tired and seething. For a
few moments afterward there was a silence; the good priest was
increasingly disturbed and by no means certain of his course. He was
astonished to feel a tug at his sleeve. Before he could reprove this
impenitent child for audacity she had raised herself that she might
approach her lips more closely to his ear.
"Mi padre!" she whispered hoarsely, "you will take my part! You will
not condemn me to a life of misery! I am too proud to speak openly to
others--but I love this man more than my soul--more than my immortal
soul. Do you hear? I am in danger of mortal sin. Perhaps I am
already in that state. You cannot save me if he goes. I will not
pray. I will not come to the church. I will be an outcast. If I
marry him, I will be a good Catholic to the end of my days. If I marry
him I can think of other things besides--of my church, my father, my
mother, my sisters, brothers. If he goes, I shall pass my life
thinking of nothing but him, and if it be true that heretics are doomed
to hell, then I will live so that I may go to hell with him."
In spite of his horror the priest was thrilled by the intense passion
in the voice so close to his ear. Moreover, he knew women well, this
good padre, for even in California they differed little from those that
played ball with the world. So he dismissed the horror and spoke
soothingly.
"What you have said would be mortal sin, my daughter, were it not that
you are laboring under strong and natural excitement; and I shall
absolve you freely when you have done the penance I must impose. You
have always been such a good child that I am able to forgive you even
in this terrible moment. But, my daughter, surely you know that this
marriage can never take place--"
"It shall! It shall!"
"Control yourself, my daughter. You cannot bring this man into the
true church. His character is long since formed and cast--it is iron.
Even love will not melt it. Were he younger--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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