England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Uncles -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Jasmine did not suppose that she had made any impression on her uncle,
and she felt rather sad about this, because she was sure that if he
would only give her an opportunity of being her natural self he would
find her sympathetic. She was surprised, therefore, when he and
Archdeacon Foljambe arrived in the drawing-room that evening after
dinner, to perceive her uncle making straight for herself, exactly like
a water wagtail with his funny little strut and funny little way of
putting his hands behind his coat and flirting his tail.
"Can you type?" he asked.
And the twinkle in his eyes seemed to endow his question with a
suggestion of daring naughtiness, so that when Jasmine told him that she
did type, she felt that she was admitting the presence of a lighter side
to her nature.
"Come up to my study to-morrow morning about half-past nine. I'll have a
chair cleared for you by then."
And thus it was that Jasmine found herself booked to help Uncle Arnold
every morning of the week. Yet in helping him she was not in the least
aware of being made use of; on the contrary the work had a delicious
flavour of impropriety. The machine itself was a good one, so good that
it had survived Ethelred's attempted dissection of it; and Uncle Arnold,
who when a difficult Anglo-Saxon problem required solution used to tap
upon the table with his fingers, did not seem to mind the noise the
typewriter made any more than a nuthatch on one branch might object to
the pecking of a yaffle at another. Jasmine, remembering that her aunt
had alluded in her first letter to the Dean's dislike of constantly
changing typists, asked him one day on their way down to lunch why he
had had so much trouble with his secretaries.
"One used a particularly vicious kind of scent. Another was continually
scratching at her garter. One used to breathe over my head when she came
across to give me what she had been doing. Another thought she knew how
to punctuate. And one who had studied history at Lady Margaret's quoted
Freeman against me! My clerical position forbade me to swear at them. My
brain in consequence became surcharged with blood. So I used to work
them to death, and when one of them who refused to be worked to death
and refused to give notice ... Jasmine! this must never go beyond you
and me...."
"No, Uncle Arnold," she promised eagerly. "But do tell me how you got
rid of her."
"I used to put drawing pins on her chair. Not a word to a soul! My wife
would suspect me of being a papist like yourself if she found out, and
the Bishop, who now thinks I'm mad, would then be sure of it. Never let
a bishop be sure of anything. He thrives on ambiguity."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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