While Jasmine was driving from Harley Street to the Empress Rooms, she felt like an actress before the first night that was to be the turning-point of her career. She was amused to find that Uncle Matthew had again borrowed the Eneas Grants' brougham, and she could almost have laughed aloud at the thought of Uncle Hector's being dosed by Selina; but presently the silent drive--Uncle Matthew was more voluminously muffled than ever--deprived her of any capacity for being amused, and the thought of her arrival at the dance now filled her with gloomy apprehension. The brougham was jogging along slowly enough, but to Jasmine it seemed to be moving like the fastest automobile, and the journey from Marylebone to Kensington seemed a hundred yards. When they pulled up outside the canopied entrance, Jasmine had a momentary impulse to run away; but the difficulty of extracting Uncle Matthew from the brougham and of unwrapping him sufficiently in the entrance hall to secure his admission as a human being occupied her attention; and almost before she knew what was happening, she had taken the old gentleman's arm and they were entering the ballroom, where the sound of music, the shuffle of dancing feet, the perfume and the heat, the brilliance and the motion, acted like a sedative drug. And then the music stopped. The dancers turned from their dancing. A thousand eyes regarded her. Lady Grant's nose grew to monstrous size. "Hullo!" cried a familiar voice. "I say, I've lost my programme, so you'll have to give me every dance to help me through the evening." Jasmine had let go Uncle Matthew's arm and taken Harry Vibart's, and in a mist, while she was walking across the middle of the ballroom, she looked back a moment and saw Uncle Matthew, like some pachydermatous animal, moving slowly in the direction of her aunt's nose. THE END * * * * * PRINTED BY W M. BRENDON AND SON, LTD., PLYMOUTH, ENGLAND SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF POOR RELATIONS _By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE _SUNDAY TIMES:_ "'Poor Relations' is a book that from cover to cover is informed with wit, humour and high spirits, and is yet in its own way a mordant criticism of life." _OBSERVER:_ "The vitality that is Mr. Compton Mackenzie's tremendous gift makes the book as tonic as a spring day.... In vividness, in sheer colour and variety, Mr. Compton Mackenzie is unmatchable." _WORLD:_ "One of the drollest books written for years." _DAILY NEWS:_ "Here is an imagination almost Dickens-like in its abundance." _DAILY CHRONICLE:_ "Nothing could be more effective, nothing more persistently and ineffably droll." _EVENING NEWS:_ "It is all rich comedy; it exudes humours on every page." _LAND AND WATER:_ "Three hundred pages of charming and farcical light-heartedness." _STAR:_ "A book of high spirits without pause." _DAILY EXPRESS:_ "Irresistibly funny." MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF SYLVIA SCARLETT _By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE