England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Uncles -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Yes," said Aunt Cuckoo, "our bathroom is _very_ nice."
"Ice bath," repeated the nurse severely.
"Oh, I see," said Aunt Cuckoo with less enthusiasm. "You mean a cold
bath."
"Ice bath," Miss Hellner almost shouted. "With lumps of ice to float.
Then I rub you with oil of olives."
Aunt Cuckoo nodded gratefully; after the ice such a proceeding sounded
luxurious.
"Then with nothing on you will do the gymnastic. Up and down the room.
Backwards and forwards. So."
"Dear me, with nothing on? Absolutely nothing? Couldn't I keep a small
towel?"
"Nothing on," repeated the masseuse obstinately. "Then you sit for ten
minutes in the window with the fan."
"But surely not with nothing on except a fan?"
"With nothing on," the masseuse insisted. "Then----" She paused
impressively, while Aunt Cuckoo looked excessively agitated, and Jasmine
wondered what ultimate ordeal she was going to prescribe. Surely she
could not intend to make the patient sit in the garden or drive in the
brougham with nothing on?
"Then you will drink a large glass of lemonade and absorb the oil," Miss
Hellner announced.
"Good gracious! Not a very large glass of oil?"
"It is the lemons who drink the oil. It was not you yourself," Miss
Hellner explained scornfully.
"Jasmine," said Aunt Cuckoo with one finger lifted in solemn admonition,
"don't let me forget to order the lemons in good time."
The lemonade was such a simple and peaceable climax that Aunt Cuckoo was
evidently anxious to try it; she did not ask her niece to remind her
about the ice, and in order to prevent Miss Hellner's reminding her she
suggested that Jasmine should have a short lesson in the art of massage.
"Oh, but I think watching you has been enough lesson for to-day"
objected Jasmine, who feared the example that is better than the
precept. "I don't think I could take in any more at first."
"She must come to the school of Swedish culture," Miss Hellner decided.
Thus it was that Jasmine found herself engaged on Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays to travel from Hampstead to Baker Street, with every
prospect, unless fate should intervene to save her, of becoming by
profession a masseuse, the last profession she would ever have chosen
for herself.
On the days when she did not go to Baker Street she had to comb the
cats. To comb seven Angora cats was almost as tiring as massage.
"I suppose this is the way your arm got bad?" she once suggested to her
aunt.
"Oh, no, dear," said Aunt Cuckoo. "When I was young I used to write a
great deal. I wrote six novels about life in the Levant, and then I had
writer's cramp."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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