_Tom._ Well, madam, if you must speak with Mr. Myrtle, you shall; he is now with my master in the library. _Phil._ But you must leave me alone with him, for he can't make me a present, nor I so handsomely take anything from him before you; it would not be decent. _Tom._ It will be very decent, indeed, for me to retire, and leave my mistress with another man. _Phil._ He is a gentleman, and will treat one properly. _Tom._ I believe so; but, however, I won't be far off, and therefore will venture to trust you. I'll call him to you. [_Exit_ TOM. _Phil._ What a deal of pother and sputter here is between my mistress and Mr. Myrtle from mere punctilio! I could, any hour of the day, get her to her lover, and would do it--but she, forsooth, will allow no plot to get him; but, if he can come to her, I know she would be glad of it. I must, therefore, do her an acceptable violence, and surprise her into his arms. I am sure I go by the best rule imaginable. If she were my maid, I should think her the best servant in the world for doing so by me. _Enter_ MYRTLE _and_ TOM. Oh sir! You and Mr. Bevil are fine gentlemen to let a lady remain under such difficulties as my poor mistress, and no attempt to set her at liberty, or release her from the danger of being instantly married to Cimberton. _Myrt._ Tom has been telling----But what is to be done? _Phil._ What is to be done--when a man can't come at his mistress! Why, can't you fire our house, or the next house to us, to make us run out, and you take us? _Myrt._ How, Mrs. Phillis? _Phil._ Ay; let me see that rogue deny to fire a house, make a riot, or any other little thing, when there were no other way to come at me. _Tom._ I am obliged to you, madam. _Phil._ Why, don't we hear every day of people's hanging themselves for love, and won't they venture the hazard of being hanged for love? Oh! were I a man---- _Myrt._ What manly thing would you have me undertake, according to your ladyship's notion of a man? _Phil._ Only be at once what, one time or other, you may be, and wish to be, or must be. _Myrt._ Dear girl, talk plainly to me, and consider I, in my condition, can't be in very good humour--you say, to be at once what I must be. _Phil._ Ay, ay; I mean no more than to be an old man; I saw you do it very well at the masquerade. In a word, old Sir Geoffry Cimberton is every hour expected in town, to join in the deeds and settlements for marrying Mr. Cimberton. He is half blind, half lame, half deaf, half dumb; though, as to his passions and desires, he is as warm and ridiculous as when in the heat of youth. _Tom._ Come to the business, and don't keep the gentleman in suspense for the pleasure of being courted, as you serve me.