_Sev._ Madam, you may. [_Bowing._] To be sure, the bridegroom is laid by his bride; the company stands in the most profound silence, as contemplating the objects before them; he a young man of twenty-five, she a young woman of twenty; he wishing our absence; she fearing it. The eyes of everyone of us spectators naturally searching the object with which they could best be pleased in the same condition, my eyes met Miss Pincers', in which there was such a sweet compliance, such a revel invitation, immediately checked when observed and answered by me, that I have ever since concluded that she had something more than goodwill for me. _Umb._ Well, if she has it, I shall be far from lessening it; but will, as you seem to desire, accompany her, and improve it. _Sev._ I form great hopes of success from that declaration; but as the lady is mighty theatrically disposed, I beseech you to show her the pleasure and beauties of the house. _Umb._ All that is in my power; all that is not I must leave to you. _Sev._ I will not doubt of success. To gain a she, a sure she-friend provide; For woman is to woman the best guide. ACT THE SECOND. PINCERS _and his_ WIFE _discovered with_ MISS DOLLY, RALPH, _and_ MARGERY. _Pin._ Fie, Miss Dolly; do you say you heard no manner of noise when I was knocking my heart out? _Dolly._ None in the least. In the country they talked of the rattling of coaches here in London. I heard nothing of it; I can hardly think I am yet in the City. _Mrs. Pin._ Why, Miss Dolly, you won't say so, sure! Did you hear no drums nor trumpets? _Dolly._ Not in the least. _Mrs. Pin._ O gemini! Then, to be sure, the house is haunted, and the man of the inn has killed some traveller, and hid him behind the hangings, and we are all disturbed for it--'tis so to be sure. _Ralph._ It is no otherwise. I wonder Counsellor Severn would bring master to such an inn as this is, so I do. _Pin._ Chamberlain! why, chamberlain! _Enter_ SPIDER (_as_ Chamberlain). _Spi._ Do you call, sir? _Pin._ Do you call, sir? Ay, marry do I, sir. What has been doing in the inn here, or in the streets, with trumpets and kettle-drums? _Spi._ Trumpets and kettle-drums! Poor gentleman! _Pin._ Poor gentleman! no, no poor gentleman.--I am afraid this house is no better than it should be. _Spi._ Has not your worship lain warm? The bed is as good a bed as any in the house. A man of fifteen hundred a-year lay in it, and slept all night. He came to town to be fluxed. He was very much a gentleman, and owned he slept very well; and his bones ached but little in that easy bed. _Pin._ Rogue! put honest folks, that have been man and wife these twenty years, into a p---- bed together! _Mrs. Pin._ In a p---- bed, husband! Take the law of him. _Pin._ Sirrah! has not Counsellor Severn been here this morning? Go, sirrah, bring me some water and a towel; I'll go to the Counsellor's chambers immediately. I'll trounce this house. [_Exit_ SPIDER.