Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Bettina liked very much better to pack trunks, and put rooms in order,
than to sit still and hold a person's hot hands, in the middle of the
night, and have dreadful questions asked her; and she had been very
active and efficient. Soon Richard called her to come down and take my
breakfast up to me. I could not eat it, and it was taken away. Then the
carriage came, and the wagon to take the baggage. Finally, Richard came,
and told me it was time to start, if I were ready.
Sophie came into the room in a wrapper, looking very dutiful and
patient, and said all that was dutiful and civil. But I suppose I was a
fiery trial to her, and she wished, no doubt, that she had never seen
me, or better, that Richard never had. All this I felt, through her
decently framed good-bye, but I did not care at all; to be out of her
sight as soon as possible, was all that I requested.
When we went down in the hall, Richard looked anxiously at me, but I did
not feel as if I had ever been there before; I really had no feeling. I
said good-bye to Bettina, who was the only servant that I saw, and
Richard put me into the carriage. When, we drove away, I did not even
look back. As we passed out of the gate, I said to him, "What day of the
month is it to-day?"
"It is the first of September," he returned.
"And when did I come here?" I asked.
"Early in June, was it not?" he said. "You know I was not here."
"Then it is not three months," and I leaned back wearily in the
carriage, and was silent.
Before we reached the city, Richard had good reason to think that I was
very ill. He made me as comfortable as he could, poor fellow! but I was
so restless, I could not keep in one position two minutes at a time.
Several times I turned to him and said, "It is suffocating in this car;
cannot the window be put up?" and when it was put up, I would seem to
feel no relief, and in a few moments, perhaps, would be shaking with a
nervous chill. It must have been a miserable journey, as I remember it.
Once I said to Richard, after some useless trouble I had put him to, "I
am very sorry, Richard, I don't know how to help it, I feel so
dreadfully."
Richard tried to answer, but his voice was husky, and he bent his head
down to arrange the bundle of shawls beneath my feet. I knew that there
were tears in his eyes, and that that was the reason that he did not
speak. It made me strangely, momentarily grateful.
"How strange that you should be so good," I said dreamily, "when Sophie
is so hateful, and Kilian is so trifling. I think your mother must have
been a good woman."
I had never talked about Richard's mother before, never even thought
whether he had had one or not, in my supreme and light-hearted
selfishness. But the mind, at such a point as I was then, makes strange
plunges out of its own orbit.
"And she died when you were little?"
"Yes, when I was scarcely twelve years old."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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