This, you see, was given that I might understand how Christ might make all crosses easy to bear. To be sure, this impression sank deep, and I have never forgotten it, but my will was yet unsurrendered and unconquered. I would not come when called in sweetest tones. In a "journey full of pains and losses," "without hope or friends," I walked life's track. God did not have his way, but I had mine. Often, so often in the years that followed I remembered the last night of the revival that had brought to my mind such serious thoughts. At the close of the last sermon a gospel worker came directly to me. I was confused. I had not decided what to do. I did not want to cast my lot with these people; I wanted to join a more fashionable church. As she approached me, I whispered to her, "I am going to join the other church." She said, "Be sure your heart is right," but I was not sure. Perhaps if I had had more teaching about surrendering my will to God, I would have yielded and in this way avoided the powers of hell that laid hold upon me from that time. I was powerless in the hands of these unseen foes. Everything went against me. My life was ruined. There was no hope. Despair was my companion for years. Sickness and disease possessed my body, and sin became my hated master. "Could we but draw back the curtains That surround each other's lives, See the naked heart and spirit--ah, if we only could! "If we knew--alas! and do we Ever care to know Whether bitter herbs or roses In our neighbor's garden grow?"