After I was married, I was anxious to train my children in the ways of the Lord, but through many cares and on account of having to work very hard, I neglected their early religious instruction. I found that I needed a deeper work of grace in my heart, and when for the time I ought to be a teacher, I had need that one teach me again the first principles of the oracles of God. My prayer was, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." I wanted to be freed from sin and thoroughly cleansed from all iniquity, so that I should never vex or grieve him more. For something more than a year I suffered much from the buffetings and temptations of Satan. I knew that Jesus was near and sustained me in those conflicts, although it seemed that he had left me alone to contend with the powers of darkness. In the midst of these trials I had temptations of rebellion against God to call him unjust, to reproach him for creating me. The temptations came to "contradict him." I did it, but oh, the horror of that moment! Until then I had resisted every temptation, as I thought, but now a worm crushed to the earth beneath the mountain weight of its sins had dared to rise in the face of infinite wisdom and excellence and contradict him. This, I thought, must be the sin for which there is no forgiveness. But I could weep tears of penitence; could sink at his feet and own it just. What less could his insulted majesty and purity do than crush the rebel worm! But he did not do it. Not even a frown was upon his gracious brow. It seemed that there was salvation for every sinner who had not, like me, contradicted him and thereby made him a liar. I contemplated the glorious character of God and concluded that unless I could find evidence that my sin was against the Holy Ghost, I should only be repeating that dreadful sin while I refused to believe the promises intended for me when penitent.