He went forward to his own section, sat down and stared out of the
window. As the memory of the little girl faded he drifted into
gloomily reviewing the things he had heard said of his family. Were
they really pariahs among their kind? Outlawed because of the blood
that flowed in their veins?
Away in the back of his mind, pushed there because the thought was not
pleasant, and because thinking could not make it pleasant, had been
the knowledge that he was returning to a life with which he no longer
seemed to be quite in tune. Two weeks had served to show him that he
had somehow drifted away from his father and Duke and Al, that he had
somehow come to look at life differently. He did not believe in the
harsh man's theory of their outlawry; yet he felt a reluctance toward
meeting again their silent measurement of himself, their intangible
aloofness.
The harsh-voiced man had dragged it all to the surface, roughly
sketching for the delectation of his friends the very things which
Lance had been deliberately covering from his own eyes. He had done
more. He had told things that made Lance wince. To humiliate Mary Hope
before the whole Black Rim, as they had done, to take away the piano
which he had wanted her to have--for that Lance could have throttled
his dad. It was like Tom to do it. Lance could not doubt that he had
done it. He could picture the whole wretchedly cheap retaliation for
the slight which Mary Hope had given them, and the picture tormented
him, made him writhe mentally. But he could picture also Mary Hope's
prim disapproval of them all, her deliberate omission of the Lorrigans
from her list of invited guests, and toward that picture he felt a
keen resentment.
The whole thing maddened him. The more, because he was in a sense
responsible for it all. Just because he had not wanted that lonely
look to cloud the blue eyes of her, just because he had not wanted her
to be unhappy in her isolation, he had somehow brought to the surface
all those boorish qualities which he had begun to hate in his family.
"Cheap--cheap as dirt!" he gritted once, and he included them all in
the denunciation.
Furiously he wished that he had gone straight home, had not stopped in
Reno for the fight. But on the heels of that he knew that he would
have made the trouble worse, had he been at the Devil's Tooth on the
day of the Fourth. He would have quarreled with Tom, but there was
scant hope that he could have prevented the piano-moving. Tom
Lorrigan, as Lance had plenty of memories to testify, was not the man
whom one could prevent from doing what he set out to do.
At a little junction Lance changed to the branch line, still dwelling
fiercely upon his heritage, upon the lawless environment in which that
heritage of violence had flourished. He was in the mood to live up to
the Lorrigan reputation when he swung off the train at Jumpoff, but no
man crossed his trail.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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