Tom grunted and got up to go. His men cast furtive glances at one
another, looked at Lance from under their brows, noted the silk
shirt and the low, tan Oxfords, and the texture and cut of his
gray trousers with the tan leather belt that had a small silver
buckle. Plain as it was they knew that buckle was silver. They saw
how clean-cut was the hairline at the back of his head and over his
ears--sure sign that he was "citified." And toward the man who is
citified your purely range-bred product cherishes a distinct if
secret grudge. His immaculate presence made them all feel frowsy and
unwashed and ill-clad. And to hide how conscious he was of his own
deficiencies, the man who sat nearest Lance lifted his hat and
rumpled his hair still more.
"Duke and Al didn't get in yet, eh?" Lance picked up an extra deck of
cards and began to shuffle them absent-mindedly but nevertheless
dexterously.
"Nope--they stayed out," replied a blond man named Winters. They
called him "Chilly."
"Hot weather for working cattle," Lance observed indifferently.
"Yeah--sure is," responded Ed Moran, who was low-browed and dark and
had an ugly jaw.
"Yeah--_damn_ hot," testified Jim Bloom. "How's Californy for
weather?"
"Oh-h--it has all kinds, same as here." Lance did not want to talk
about California just then, but he followed the lead easily enough.
"You can get anything you want in California. In two hours you can go
from twenty-five feet of snow to orange groves. You can have it all
green, fruit trees and roses blooming in midwinter, or you can hit
into desert worse than anything Idaho can show."
"Yep--that's right, all right. Great place, Californy," Chilly tried
to make his voice sound enthusiastic, and failed. "Great place."
"Speaking about climate--" Lance sat down on a corner of the table,
eased his trousers over his knees, crossed his tan Oxfords and began
a story. It was a long story, and for some time it was not at all
apparent that he was getting anywhere with it. He shuffled the deck
of cards while he talked, and the keno game, interrupted when he
began, trailed off into "Who's play is it?" and finally ceased
altogether. That was when Lance's Jewish dialect began to be funny
enough to make even Chilly Winters laugh. At the end there was a
general cachinnation.
"But that's only a sample of the stuff they pull out there, on
tourists," said Lance, when the laughter had subsided to a few belated
chuckles. "There's another one. It isn't funny--but I'm going to
_make_ it funny. You'll think it's funny--but it isn't, really."
He told that one and made them think it was funny. At least they
laughed, and laughed again when he had finished.
"Now here's another. This one really is funny--but you won't feel like
laughing at it. I'll tell it so you won't."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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