'I told you of my two dinners at the Hall? The first was just
_tete-a-tete_ with the squire--oh, and Mrs. Darcy, of course. I am
always forgetting her, poor little thing, which is most ungrateful of
me. A pathetic life that, Catherine. She seems to me, in her odd way,
perpetually hungering for affection, for praise. No doubt, if she got
them, she wouldn't know what to do with them. She would just touch and
leave them as she does everything. Her talk and she are both as light
and wandering as thistledown. But still, meanwhile, she hungers, and is
never satisfied. There seems to be something peculiarly antipathetic in
her to the squire. I can't make it out. He is sometimes quite brutal to
her when she is more inconsequent than usual. I often wonder she goes on
living with him.'
Catherine made some indignant comment.
'Yes,' said Robert, musing. 'Yes, it is bad.'
But Catherine thought his tone might have been more unqualified, and
marvelled again at the curious lenity of judgment he had always shown of
late towards Mr. Wendover. And all his judgments of himself and others
were generally so quick, so uncompromising!
'On the second occasion we had Freake and Dashwood,' naming two
well-known English antiquarians. 'Very learned, very jealous, and very
snuffy; altogether "too genuine," as poor mother used to say of those
old chairs we got for the dining-room. But afterwards when we were all
smoking in the library, the squire came out of his shell and talked. I
never heard him more brilliant!'
He paused a moment, his bright eyes looking far away from her, as though
fixed on the scene he was describing.
'Such a mind!' he said at last with a long breath, 'such a memory!
Catherine, my book has been making great strides since you left. With
Mr. Wendover to go to, all the problems are simplified. One is saved all
false starts, all beating about the bush. What a piece of luck it was
that put one down beside such a guide, such a living storehouse of
knowledge!'
He spoke in a glow of energy and enthusiasm. Catherine sat looking at
him wistfully, her gray eyes crossed by many varying shades of memory
and feeling.
At last his look met hers, and the animation of it softened at once,
grew gentle.
'Do you think I am making knowledge too much of a god just now, Madonna
mine?' he said, throwing himself down beside her. 'I have been full of
qualms myself. The squire excites one so, makes one feel as though
intellect--accumulation--were the whole of life. But I struggle against
it--I do. I go on, for instance, trying to make the squire do his social
duties--behave like "a human."'
Catherine could not help smiling at his tone.
'Well?' she inquired.
He shook his head ruefully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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