Still all through, her feeling towards her husband was in the main akin
to that of the English civilian at home towards English soldiers abroad,
suffering and dying that England may be great. _She_ had sheltered
herself all her life from those deadly forces of unbelief which exist in
English society, by a steady refusal to know what, however, any educated
university man must perforce know. But such a course of action was
impossible for Robert. He had been forced into the open, into the full
tide of the Lord's battle. The chances of that battle are many; and the
more courage the more risk of wounds and pain. But the great Captain
knows--the great Captain does not forget His own!
For never, never had she the smallest doubt as to the issue of this
sudden crisis in her husband's consciousness, even when she came nearest
to apprehending its nature. As well might she doubt the return of
daylight, as dream of any permanent eclipse descending upon the faith
which had shone through every detail of Robert's ardent impulsive life,
with all its struggles, all its failings, all its beauty, since she had
known him first. The dread did not even occur to her. In her agony of
pity and reverence she thought of him as passing through a trial, which
is specially the believer's trial--the chastening by which God proves
the soul He loves. Let her only love and trust in patience.
So that day by day as Robert's depression still continued, Catherine
surrounded him with the tenderest and wisest affection. Her quiet common
sense made itself heard, forbidding her to make too much of the change
in him, which might after all, she thought, be partly explained by the
mere physical results of his long strain of body and mind during the
Mile End epidemic. And for the rest she would not argue; she would not
inquire. She only prayed that she might so lead the Christian life
beside him, that the Lord's tenderness, the Lord's consolation, might
shine upon him through her. It had never been her wont to speak to him
much about his own influence, his own effect, in the parish. To the
austerer Christian considerations of this kind are forbidden: 'It is not
I, but Christ that worketh in me.' But now, whenever she came across any
striking trace of his power over the weak or the impure, the sick or the
sad, she would in some way make it known to him, offering it to him in
her delicate tenderness, as though it were a gift that the Father had
laid in her hand for him--a token that the Master was still indeed with
His servant, and that all was fundamentally well!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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