For she was an artist--she would be an artist--let Catherine say what
she would! She came back from Manchester restless for she knew not
what, thirsty for the joys and emotions of art, determined to be free,
reckless, passionate; with Wagner and Brahms in her young blood; and
found Burwood waiting for her, Burwood, the lonely house in the lonely
valley, of which Catherine was the presiding genius. _Catherine!_ For
Rose, what a multitude of associations clustered round the name! To her
it meant everything at this moment against which her soul rebelled--the
most scrupulous order, the most rigid self-repression, the most
determined sacrificing of ‘this warm kind world,’ with all its
indefensible delights, to a cold other-world, with its torturing,
inadmissible claims. Even in the midst of her stolen joys at Manchester
or London, this mere name, the mere mental image of Catherine moving
through life, wrapped in a religious peace and certainty as austere
as they were beautiful, and asking of all about her the same absolute
surrender to an awful Master she gave so easily herself, was enough to
chill the wayward Rose, and fill her with a kind of restless despair.
And at home, as the vicar said, the two sisters were always on the
verge of conflict. Rose had enough of her father in her to suffer in
resisting, but resist she must by the law of her nature.
Now, as she threw off her walking things, she fell first upon her
violin, and rushed through a Brahms’ ‘Liebeslied,’ her eyes dancing, her
whole light form thrilling with the joy of it; and then with a sudden
revulsion she stopped playing, and threw herself down listlessly by the
open window. Close by against the wall was a little looking-glass, by
which she often arranged her ruffled locks; she glanced at it now, it
showed her a brilliant face enough, but drooping lips, and eyes darkened
with the extravagant melancholy of eighteen.
‘It is come to a pretty pass,’ she said to herself, ‘that I should be
able to think of nothing but schemes for getting Catherine married and
out of my way! Considering what she is and what I am, and how she
has slaved for us all her life, I seem to have descended pretty low.
Heigho!’
And with a portentous sigh she dropped her chin on her hand. She was
half acting, acting to herself. Life was not really quite unbearable,
and she knew it. But it relieved her to overdo it.
‘I wonder how much chance there is,’ she mused, presently. ‘Mr. Elsmere
will soon be ridiculous. Why, _I_ saw him gather up those violets she
threw away yesterday on Moor Crag. And as for her, I don’t believe she
has realized the situation a bit. At least, if she has she is as unlike
other mortals in this as in everything else. But when she does--’
She frowned and meditated, but got no light on the problem. Chattie
jumped up on the windowsill, with her usual stealthy _aplomb_, and
rubbed herself against the girl’s face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account