'Sma' eneuch,' responded Robert. 'I cudna help thinkin' I kent mony
a tyke (dog) that God had made wi' mair o' what I wad ca' the divine
natur' in him nor a' that Dr. Soulis made oot to be in God himsel'. He
had no ill intentions wi' us--it amuntit to that. He wasna ill-willy,
as the bairns say. But the doctor had some sair wark, I thoucht, to mak
that oot, seein' we war a' the children o' wrath, accordin' to him, born
in sin, and inheritin' the guilt o' Adam's first trespass. I dinna think
Dr. Soulis cud say that God had dune the best he cud for 's. But he
never tried to say onything like that. He jist made oot that he was a
verra respectable kin' o' a God, though maybe no a'thing we micht wuss.
We oucht to be thankfu' that he gae's a wee blink o' a chance o' no
bein' brunt to a' eternity, wi' nae chance ava. I dinna say that he said
that, but that's what it a' seemed to me to come till. He said a hantle
aboot the care o' Providence, but a' the gude that he did seemed to me
to be but a haudin' aff o' something ill that he had made as weel. Ye
wad hae thocht the deevil had made the warl', and syne God had pitten us
intil 't, and jist gied a bit wag o' 's han' whiles to haud the deevil
aff o' 's whan he was like to destroy the breed a'thegither. For
the grace that he spak aboot, that was less nor the nature an' the
providence. I cud see unco little o' grace intil 't.'
Here Ericson broke in--fearful, apparently, lest his boyfriend should be
actually about to deny the God in whom he did not himself believe.
'Robert,' he said solemnly, 'one thing is certain: if there be a God at
all, he is not like that. If there be a God at all, we shall know him by
his perfection--his grand perfect truth, fairness, love--a love to make
life an absolute good--not a mere accommodation of difficulties, not a
mere preponderance of the balance on the side of well-being. Love only
could have been able to create. But they don't seem jealous for the
glory of God, those men. They don't mind a speck, or even a blot, here
and there upon him. The world doesn't make them miserable. They can get
over the misery of their fellow-men without being troubled about them,
or about the God that could let such things be. [7] They represent a God
who does wonderfully well, on the whole, after a middling fashion. I
want a God who loves perfectly. He may kill; he may torture even; but if
it be for love's sake, Lord, here am I. Do with me as thou wilt.'
Had Ericson forgotten that he had no proof of such a God? The next
moment the intellectual demon was awake.
'But what's the good of it all?' he said. 'I don't even know that there
is anything outside of me.'
'Ye ken that I'm here, Mr. Ericson,' suggested Robert.
'I know nothing of the sort. You may be another phantom--only clearer.'
'Ye speik to me as gin ye thocht me somebody.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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