Ericson rose. One of his fits of impatient doubt was upon him. In the
dying embers of the fire he strode up and down the waste hall, with
the storm raving around it. He was destined to an early death; he would
leave no one of his kin to mourn for him; the girl whose fair face
had possessed his imagination, would not give one sigh to his memory,
wandering on through the regions of fancy all the same; and the
death-struggle over, he might awake in a godless void, where, having
no creative power in himself, he must be tossed about, a conscious yet
helpless atom, to eternity. It was not annihilation he feared, although
he did shrink from the thought of unconsciousness; it was life without
law that he dreaded, existence without the bonds of a holy necessity,
thought without faith, being without God.
For all her fatigue Miss St. John could not sleep. The house quivered in
the wind which howled more and more madly through its long passages
and empty rooms; and she thought she heard cries in the midst of the
howling. In vain she reasoned with herself: she could not rest. She rose
and opened the door of her room, with a vague notion of being nearer to
the young men.
It opened upon the narrow gallery, already mentioned as leading from one
side of the first floor to the other at mid-height along the end of the
hall. The fire below shone into this gallery, for it was divided from
the hall only by a screen of crossing bars of wood, like unglazed
window-frames, possibly intended to hold glass. Of the relation of the
passage to the hall Mary St. John knew nothing, till, approaching the
light, she found herself looking down into the red dusk below. She stood
riveted; for in the centre of the hall, with his hands clasped over his
head like the solitary arch of a ruined Gothic aisle, stood Ericson.
His agony had grown within him--the agony of the silence that brooded
immovable throughout the infinite, whose sea would ripple to no breath
of the feeble tempest of his prayers. At length it broke from him in low
but sharp sounds of words.
'O God,' he said, 'if thou art, why dost thou not speak? If I am thy
handiwork--dost thou forget that which thou hast made?'
He paused, motionless, then cried again:
'There can be no God, or he would hear.'
'God has heard me!' said a full-toned voice of feminine tenderness
somewhere in the air. Looking up, Ericson saw the dim form of Mary
St. John half-way up the side of the lofty hall. The same moment she
vanished--trembling at the sound of her own voice.
Thus to Ericson as to Robert had she appeared as an angel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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