_Woman._ Why yes--no. Be still, you naughty pig! be still! Yes, I am looking for something. Stop your everlasting squealing! Oh! I remember! I’ve lost my pig. Have you seen anything of him? _Neighbor._ Why, what’s that you have under your arm? _Woman._ Gracious! I’ve got the pig under my arm all this time! Poor, dear thing--that I should have forgotten you, while I was all the time thinking of you! and that I should have lost you while I was clasping you to my breast! Well done! I must be a genius, as aunt Dorcas says! Some years ago there lived at the city of Washington a famous Englishman by the name of Thomas Law. He was very absent-minded, and often forgot his christian name. One day, he was writing a letter, and when he came to the end, and wanted to sign his name, he was in great trouble because he could not remember the first part of it. At last, Claxton, the door-keeper, chanced to be passing, and Law remembered that his christian name was the same as Claxton’s. Accordingly he said, “Claxton, what is your christian name?” “Thomas,” was the answer. “Oh yes, Thomas,” said Law, and immediately wrote his name, “Thomas Law!” These instances are somewhat amusing, but I can tell you of an instance in which absence of mind proved more serious. A famous courtier once wished to ingratiate himself into the favor of two persons of great rank and power, but who were deadly enemies to each other. These were Lord B. and Lord Q. In order to please these two persons, the courtier wrote a letter to each of them. That of Lord B. was as follows: My dear Lord B. I met with Lord Q. last evening at Lady Lackaday’s. It was the first time I had seen him. I felt instinctively an aversion similar to that which is inspired by the presence of a serpent. I can easily enter into your feelings respecting him. Indeed, I do not see how any one can differ from your lordship in this matter. It is impossible not to feel a sympathy with the man who stands in open and manly opposition to one upon whose forehead “knave” is written by the hand of his Creator. I am, dear Lord, yours, B. L. The next letter was as follows: My dear Lord Q. Lord B. is an ass, and I ask no better proof of it than that he seems to hate you, whom all the world beside agree to love and admire. He is stark mad with envy. You have only to let him alone, and he will make himself ridiculous before the whole town. This is all you have to do to destroy your rival. Let him alone! Yours faithfully, B. L.