“You will desire to know all about our dear father. He is now happily relieved from the fear of immediate want; the products of my needle, so liberally paid for by the governor’s lady, supply us with the few necessities of life. He spends a good deal of time in reading; for Suwarrow has furnished us with books; and occasionally we get the Petersburgh Gazette from the same source. He seems more tranquil, but I see that sorrow is gradually weaving its shadows over his brow. There is a settled sadness in his face, which sometimes makes me weep. Oh, how changed is his condition! Once in the possession of wealth and power; once so active, so energetic, and, by the springs he set in motion, exerting so great an influence! now, so utterly helpless, isolated, and lost! How is the light of his life put out! Dear Alexis, these things move me to tears. I would that you were here to share, and thus to soften my grief. But I am thankful that there is one often here who understands my feelings. Is it not strange that a Russian should be the depositary of our confidence, and the alleviator of our sorrow? I think father likes Suwarrow more than I do. If you were here, I should care less for him; but what can I do, in my brother’s absence, but find consolation in the society of one who seems to have a brother’s interest in my happiness? “I have had a great deal of anxiety for you. Pray write me a long letter, and tell me all about your journey. How have you borne the long and weary march of two thousand miles? Alas, that Alexis Pultova should have come to this! And yet, my brother, it may be good for you: I mean, it may promote your happiness. It may seem strange to you, for it surprises myself, to find a real pleasure in my toil. I once thought that labor was a curse, but I now find it a blessing. It is associated in my mind with the comfort and independence of our father; there is something soothing and consoling to think that I, poor I, can be so useful. Do not think me conceited, but really, Lex, I feel quite important! And you may find a similar compensation for your exertions and privations. Only think, now, if you should bring home a quantity of fine furs, and enable father to live a little more according to his wont; what a pleasure that would be! It appears to me that, if I were a young man, I should be very proud to be able to do something clever. The consciousness of being able to compel fortune to come at one’s bidding, is reserved for your sex. We girls can only admire such things in men; we may not possess the feeling itself. Still, I now feel a certain degree of confidence in myself, which is a source of much cheerfulness to my heart.