“He that lives and goes to bed mellow, Lives as he ought to do, and dies a clever fellow.” Generally, they feel rich, however poor; and have golden prospects, without the certainty of a single dollar. I have known them, even when lying at the bottom of a ditch, and unable to move a limb――so buoyant with spirits, as to call out to the universe――“to the right wheel, march!” A _fifth_ characteristic of my subjects is, _genius_. The tendency of all my influence is to bring the _energies of the skull into action_. Under my tuition, genius is sure to expand; and I have known even those who were thought to be wanting in common sense, to have heads that would delight Spurzheim himself. Phrenologists often talk about _bumps_, as indications of great powers. This is sound philosophy, and I have a mode of making bumps by an expeditious process. I assure you, I have known a whole family of geniuses made in one night, at a bar-room or a grog-shop. A jug of the pure thing is superior to a college education, for developments of the craniology. Finally, my friends, one of my people knows more than anybody else――or he thinks he does, which is the same thing. It is an old adage, that “_the drunken man thinks the world turns round_.” What a glorious privilege! It is true that he reels and staggers, and perhaps tumbles down; but still, he thinks that he alone is upright, steadfast and perpendicular! while everybody else is tipping and diving as if there was an earthquake! Is not this an enviable superiority? Thus it is, my friends, if you embrace me, you will, in your own heart and mind, be ――――“glorious, O’er all your enemies victorious!” You may be clothed in rags, tumbled into a gutter――an object of pity and sorrow to all around; yet, strong in your confidence in me, you will remain “A man superior to his accidents!” You will think that you know more than anybody else, are better than anybody else, and are alike superior to the restraints of decency, morality, religion and law. This is true independence! This is unbounded liberty. If, the next day, you feel the horrors――take a little more of me. A little more and a little more――is the true way to keep it up. Walk up, gentlemen and ladies! now’s your time. Who’s for King Alcohol and independence! Who’ll enlist under my banner, for time and eternity? [1] The substance of this was delivered by a youth at a temperance celebration, on the Fourth July last. * * * * *