“Oh, cruel, deadly man! You must advise her; you shan’t leave this house
till you have advised her!” the poor woman passionately retorted. “Look
at me in my misery and refuse to help me! Oh, you need n’t be afraid, I
know I ‘m a fright, I have n’t an idea what I have on. If this goes
on, we may both as well turn scarecrows. If ever a woman was desperate,
frantic, heart-broken, I am that woman. I can’t begin to tell you. To
have nourished a serpent, sir, all these years! to have lavished one’s
self upon a viper that turns and stings her own poor mother! To have
toiled and prayed, to have pushed and struggled, to have eaten the bread
of bitterness, and all the rest of it, sir--and at the end of all things
to find myself at this pass. It can’t be, it ‘s too cruel, such things
don’t happen, the Lord don’t allow it. I ‘m a religious woman, sir,
and the Lord knows all about me. With his own hand he had given me his
reward! I would have lain down in the dust and let her walk over me; I
would have given her the eyes out of my head, if she had taken a fancy
to them. No, she ‘s a cruel, wicked, heartless, unnatural girl! I speak
to you, Mr. Mallet, in my dire distress, as to my only friend. There is
n’t a creature here that I can look to--not one of them all that I have
faith in. But I always admired you. I said to Christina the first time I
saw you that there at last was a real gentleman. Come, don’t disappoint
me now! I feel so terribly alone, you see; I feel what a nasty, hard,
heartless world it is that has come and devoured my dinners and danced
to my fiddles, and yet that has n’t a word to throw to me in my agony!
Oh, the money, alone, that I have put into this thing, would melt the
heart of a Turk!”
During this frenzied outbreak Rowland had had time to look round the
room, and to see the Cavaliere sitting in a corner, like a major-domo on
the divan of an antechamber, pale, rigid, and inscrutable.
“I have it at heart to tell you,” Rowland said, “that if you consider my
friend Hudson”--
Mrs. Light gave a toss of her head and hands. “Oh, it ‘s not that. She
told me last night to bother her no longer with Hudson, Hudson! She did
n’t care a button for Hudson. I almost wish she did; then perhaps one
might understand it. But she does n’t care for anything in the wide
world, except to do her own hard, wicked will, and to crush me and shame
me with her cruelty.”
“Ah, then,” said Rowland, “I am as much at sea as you, and my presence
here is an impertinence. I should like to say three words to Miss Light
on my own account. But I must absolutely and inexorably decline to urge
the cause of Prince Casamassima. This is simply impossible.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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