Rogues and VagabondsSims, George R. (George Robert)
General
Rogues and Vagabonds
Sims, George R. (George Robert)
Criminals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
This last exclamation was addressed to Mr. Turvey, whom Jabez had
deposited on a chair, where he was vainly endeavouring to catch an
imaginary fly with his hand—a proceeding which ended in his falling out
of the chair on to the fender, and bringing down the fire-irons with a
terrible clatter.
‘What’s to be done with him?’ exclaimed Mrs. Duck, wringing her hands.
‘Wash’ be done?’ said Mr. Turvey, struggling into a sitting posture;
‘wash’ be done wi’ me? I’m lasht rosh shammer left blooming ‘lone; all
lovlish companshish ish faded and gone—eh, Shabez?—faded and gone, old
cock—fa’ angone.’
The remembrance of the fall of his lovely companions was too much for
Mr. Turvey, and once more his voice became lachrymose.
‘Shuck me oush!’ he exclaimed; ‘shuck mo oush! Lesh die in the
streetsh; all monsh gone.’
‘Really, Susan,’ said Mr. Duck, knitting his brows and assuming an
attitude of firmness, ‘I am very sorry to see your relative in this
condition. It’s disgraceful—most disgraceful!’
‘Dishgraceful!’ exclaimed Mr. Turvey, dragging himself up into a
horizontal position and dropping heavily into the chair again; ‘wheresh
dishgrace? Look here, Mishter Duck, I’m har’ up. Send me oush country.
“To the Wesht, to the Wesht—land o’ the free; Missh—Misshouri “—cetra;
you know; or elsh I shall give shelf up to the polish.’ Mrs. Duck
screamed.
‘Don’t listen to what he’s going to say, Jabez; it isn’t true; he’s
saying it to extort money.’
Mr. Jabez had not been an inquiry agent all these years without having
acquired a habit of pricking up his ears. The mention of police aroused
his attention at once, and then he remembered the mystery of the
thousand pounds. He saw that if he wanted Mr. Turvey to become
communicative he had better irritate him.
‘Give yourself up to the police!’ he exclaimed; ‘if you don’t leave my
house instantly I’ll save you the trouble.’
For a moment Mr. Turvey looked at Mr. Duck as though he was wondering
if he meant it. Gradually his features assumed an expression of rage
which would have been comical had not the hideous surroundings of
drunkenness overpowered all.
‘You—will!’ he exclaimed, speaking slowly and dully, at first with an
effort, but more clearly and rapidly as passion sobered him for a time.
‘You will! Do! Then you’ll have to send her to quod with me.’
Mrs. Duck hid her face.
‘It isn’t true, Jabez,’ she moaned; ‘it isn’t true.’
‘Ha, ha!’ laughed Mr. Turvey, staggering up to the table, and bringing
his dirty hand down on it with a blow. ‘Look at her! She won’t do
anything more for me, she won’t! Here!’ he shouted, ‘police! police!
come and take me! Come and arrest the great gold robber, Turvey the
guard! You’ve done it now, Susan! It’s too late! Police! police!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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