Families -- Fiction; Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
But now a greater obstacle to the departure of the luggage than an
unwilling cab-driver presented itself, for Miss Fewkes appeared,
her tow-coloured hair elaborately done as it always was on a Sunday
afternoon to resemble a brand-new yacht’s fender from which state it
gradually wore away during the stress of the week.
“And what is the meaning of this?” she demanded, folding her arms.
Nancy explained why her luggage was going away this afternoon.
“Then perhaps you’ll pay my weekly bill, Miss O’Finn, before you remove
your boxes?” said Miss Fewkes.
“My bill will be paid to-morrow morning before I leave.”
“Yes, but I’m not in the habit of permitting my lodgers to remove their
luggage until their bills are paid,” Miss Fewkes insisted.
Mrs. Pottage gasped.
“Well, of all the impudence I ever did hear! Well, I passed the remark
to the policeman that you looked like a potted shrimp, but shrimp sauce
is more what you ought to be called.”
“It’s easy to see what _you_ are,” Miss Fewkes spat out venomously.
“The sort of woman _you_ are is plain to any one who’s sharp and has
eyes.”
At this point, the burly cab-driver, who was evidently afraid of being
involved in this feminine dispute, retired downstairs until the matter
was settled.
“It is easy to see what I am,” Mrs. Pottage agreed. “Because I’m a
decent-made woman. But it’s far from easy to see what you are, let me
tell you, very far from easy, because you aren’t as big as a second
helping of underdone mutton at an eating-house. You _may_ have eyes.
So’s a needle. You _may_ be sharp. So’s a needle. And I wouldn’t care
to look for you in a haystack any more than what I would a needle, and
that’s the solid truth I’m telling you. You asked for it, ma’am, and
now you’ve had it, and if you’ll kindly stand on one side you won’t get
carried out with the luggage like a speck of dust off of your own dusty
banisters.”
“This luggage don’t leave my house before my account’s been settled,”
Miss Fewkes shrilled. “Not if I have to fetch in a policeman to you.”
“Fetch a policeman?” Mrs. Pottage jeered. “Well, for a woman who looks
like last night’s buttonhole or a sucked sweet as a kid’s spat out on
the pavement, you’ve got a tidy nerve.”
Nancy thought that it was time to interfere, because she did not want
Letizia to be frightened by the quarrel.
“I’m quite willing to pay your bill, Miss Fewkes, if you suspect that
I’m trying to give you the slip,” she said.
“Not at all,” Mrs. Pottage interposed. “It’s beyond reason giving in to
such as she. Let her call this policeman we’ve heard so much about, and
it’s my opinion he’ll laugh in her face, that is if he could tell it
_was_ her face, which I don’t think.”
“You vulgar, impertinent woman,” Miss Fewkes ejaculated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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