Families -- Fiction; Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
last she was beginning to place her voice somewhat more approximately
where it ought to be placed. It was as if the fierce little black
and white man had been softened by the spirit of Christmas, of which
those blue-cloaked pipers were at once the heralds and the ambassadors
with their bourdon rising and falling upon the mandarin-scented air.
Absence from home at this season did not fill Nancy with sentimental
regrets. Since Bram died Christmas had not been a happy time for her,
so intimately was its festivity associated with that dreadful night
at Greenwich four years ago. She welcomed and enjoyed the different
atmosphere of _Natale_, and after so many grimy northern winters these
days of turquoise, these dusks of pearl and rose, these swift and
scintillating nights.
On the anniversary of Bram’s death she drove out to Posilipo and sat
on a rock by the shore, gazing out across the milky cerulean waters of
the bay. For all the beauty of this classic view she was only aware of
it as one is aware of a landscape by Poussin or Claude, about whose
vales and groves and gleaming temples no living creature will ever
wander. The dove-coloured water that lapped the rock on which she sat,
the colonnade of dark-domed pines along the brow of the cliff, Ischia
and Capri like distant castles of chalcedony, Vesuvius in a swoon of
limpid golden air—all without Bram was but a vanity of form and colour.
The thought of how easily he might have been preserved from death
afflicted her with a madness of rage. Indifference to the beauty of her
surroundings was succeeded by a wild hatred of that beauty, so well
composed, so clear, so bland, and so serene. But for the folly of one
incompetent and unimaginative fellow man he might have been sitting
beside her on this rock, sitting here in this murmurous placidity of
earth and sea and sky, gazing out across this crystalline expanse, his
hand in hers, their hearts beating together where now only his watch
ticked dryly. Nancy longed to weep; but she could not weep in this
brightness. Yet she must either weep or fling herself from this rock
and sink down into the water at her feet, into that tender water with
the hue and the voice and the softness of a dove. She let a loose stone
drop from her hand and watched it sink to the enamelled floor of the
bay. How shallow it was! She should never drown here. She must seek
another rock round which the water swirled deep and indigo-dark, water
in which a stone would flicker for a few moments in pale blue fire and
be lost to sight long before it reached the bottom. Nancy left the rock
where she had been sitting and tried to climb upward along the cliff’s
edge in search of deep water at its base. And while she climbed her
clothes became scented by the thickets of rosemary. There appeared to
her distraught mind the image of Bram as Laertes and of the actress
who had played Ophelia saying to him, “_There’s rosemary, that’s for
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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