“Stay--let me interrupt you here,” said Cashel, laying his hand on
Kennyfeck's arm, and using a tone whose earnest distinctness thrilled
through his hearer's heart; “I should deceive you, were you to suppose
that it is the want of money gives me the pain I am now suffering. That
I had believed myself rich a few moments back, and now found myself a
beggar, could not give one-thousandth part of that suffering which I
feel here. I have braved poverty in every form, and I could brave it
again; but I 'll tell you what it is that now cuts me to the soul, and
lowers me to myself. It is that, in a senseless, heartless career, I
should have squandered the wealth by which I once imagined I was to
bless and succor hundreds. It is to think, that of all the gold I have
wasted, not one memory has been purchased of a sick-bed consoled, a
suffering lessened, a sinking spirit encouraged,--I have done nothing,
actually nothing, save pamper vice and sensual heartlessness. I came to
this kingdom a few months back, my very dreams filled with schemes of
benevolence; I felt as if this wealth were given to me that I might show
the world how much of good may be done by one who, having experienced
narrow fortune, should best know how to relieve it in others; and now,
here am I, the wealth and the high aspirations alike departed, with
no tradition to carry away, save of a life passed in debauch, the
friendship of worthless, the pitying contempt of good men! Hear me out
I was nurtured in no school of sentiment; I belonged to a class who
had too little time or taste to indulge in scruples. We were reckless,
passionate,--cruel, if you will,--but we were not bad in cold blood; we
seldom hated long; we never could turn on a benefactor. These are not
the lessons I 've lived to learn here! It is over, however--it is past
now! I 'll go back to the old haunts, and the old comrades. It will go
hard with me if I quarrel with their rude speech and rough demeanor. I
'll think of _gentlemen!_ and be grateful.”
The rapid utterance in which he poured forth these words, and the fervid
excitement of his manner, abashed Kenny-feck, and deterred him from
reply. Cashel was the first to speak.
“This arrangement, however, must be provided for; whatever Mr.
Corrigan's interest be worth--or rather, whatever he will accept in lieu
of it--I insist upon his having. But I see Dr. Tiernay coming up to the
door; we can talk of these things at another time.”
When Tiernay entered the library he was heated with his walk, and his
face betrayed unmistakable signs of recent irritation; indeed, he did
not long conceal the reason.
“Is it true, Mr. Cashel, that Mr. Linton is your nominee for the borough
of Derraheeny?”
“Yes; what of that?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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