“No, it's no such thing,” hiccoughed the hussar. “I was proposing a bumper to the lightest snaffle hand from this to Doncaster--the best judge of a line of country in the kingdom--” “That's me,” said a jolly voice, and at the same instant the door was flung wide, and Tom Linton, splashed from the road, and travel-stained, entered. “I must say, gentlemen, you are no churls of your wit and pleasantry, for, as I came up the stairs, I could hear every word you were saying.” “Oh dear, how dreadful! and we were talking of _you_ too,” said Meek, with a piteous air that made every one laugh. A thousand questions as to where he had been, whom with, and what for?--all burst upon Linton, who only escaped importunity by declaring that he was half dead with hunger, and would answer nothing till he had eaten. “So,” said he, at length, after having devoted twenty minutes to a grouse-pie of most cunning architecture, “you never guessed where I had been?” “Oh! we had guesses enough, if that served any purpose.” “I thought it was a bolt, Tom,” said Upton; “but as _she_ appeared at breakfast, as usual, I saw my mistake.” “Meek heard that you had gone over to Downing Street to ask for the Irish Secretaryship,” said Jennings. “I said you had been to have a talk with Scott about 'Regulator;' was I far off the mark?” “Mrs. White suggested an uncle's death,” said Frobisher; “but uncles don't die nowadays.” “Did you buy the colt?--Have you backed 'Runjeet Singh?'--Are you to have the agency?--How goes on the borough canvass?” and twenty similar queries now poured in on him. “Well, I see,” cried he, laughing, “I shall sadly disappoint all the calculations founded on my shrewdness and dexterity, for the whole object of my journey was to secure a wardrobe for our fancy ball, which I suddenly heard of as being at Limerick; and so, not trusting the mission to another, I started off myself, and here I am, with materials for more Turks, Monks, Sailors, Watchmen, Greeks, Jugglers, and Tyrolese, than ever travelled in anything save a caravan with one horse.” “Are your theatrical intentions all abandoned?” cried Jennings. “I trust not,” said Linton; “but I heard that Miss Meek had decided on the ball to come off first.” “Hip! hip! hip!” was moaned out, in very lachrymose tone, from a sofa where the boy hussar, very sick and very tipsy, lay stretched on his back. “Who is that yonder?” asked Linton. “A young fellow of ours,” said Jennings, indolently. “I thought they made their heads better at Sandhurst.” “They used in my time,” said Upton; “but you have no idea how the thing has gone down.” “Quite true,” chimed in another; “and I don't think we 've seen the worst of it yet. Do you know, they talk of an examination for all candidates for commissions!” “Well, I must say,” lisped the guardsman, “I believe it would be an improvement for the 'line.'” “The household brigade can dispense with information,” said an infantry captain.