I took a chair near the marble rim of the basin with its border of
English flowers, its splashing thread of water. The goldfishes that had
been lying motionless, with their heads pointing different ways, glided
into a bunch to the fall of my shadow, waiting for crumbs of bread.
Father Antonio, his head down, and the open breviary under his nose,
brushed my foot with the skirt of his cassock.
“Have you any plan?”
When he came back, walking very slowly, I said, “None.”
At this next turn I pronounced rapidly, “I should like to see Carlos.”
He frowned over the edge of the book. I understood that he refused to
let me in. And, after all, why should I disturb that dying man? The news
about him was that he felt stronger that day. But he was preparing for
eternity. Father Antonio’s business was to save souls. I felt horribly
crushed and alone. The priest asked, hardly moving his lips: “What do
you trust to?”
I had the time to meditate my reply. “Tell Carlos I think of escape by
sea.”
He made a little sign of assent, turned off towards the staircase, and
went back to the sick room.
“The folly of it,” I thought. How could I think of it? Escape where? I
dared not even show myself outside the Casa. My safety within depended
on old Cesar more than on anybody else. He had the key of the gate, and
the gate was practically the only thing between me and a miserable death
at the hands of the first ruffian I met outside. And with the thought I
seemed to stifle in that _patio_ open to the sky.
That gate seemed to cut off the breath of life from me. I was there, as
if in a trap. Should I--I asked myself--try to enlighten Don Balthasar?
Why not? He would understand me. I would tell him that in his own town,
as he always called Rio Medio, there lurked assassination for his guest.
That would move him if anything could.
He was then walking with O’Brien after dinner, as he had walked with me
on the day of my arrival. Only Seraphina had not appeared, and we three
men had sat out the silent meal alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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