More than once I would stagger off far away into the depths of the
cavern in an access of rage, fling myself on the floor, bite my arms,
beat my head on the rock. I would give myself up. She must be saved from
this tortured death. She had said she would throw herself over if I left
her. But would she have the strength? It was impossible to know. For
days it seemed she had been lying perfectly still, on her side, one hand
under her wan cheek, and only answering “Juan” when I pronounced her
name. There was something awful in our dry whispers. They were lifeless,
like the tones of the dead, if the dead ever speak to each other across
the earth separating the graves. The moral suffering, joined to the
physical torture of hunger and thirst, annihilated my will in a measure,
but also kindled a vague, gnawing feeling of hostility against her. She
asked too much of me. It was too much. And I would drag myself back to
sit for hours, and with an aching heart look towards her couch from a
distance.
My eyes, accustomed to obscurity, traced an indistinct and recumbent
form. Her forehead was white; her hair merged into the darkness which
was gathering slowly upon her eyes, her cheeks, her throat. She was
perfectly still. It was cruel, it was odious, it was intolerable to be
so still. This must end. I would carry her out by main force. She said
no word, but there was in the embrace of those arms instantly thrown
around my neck, in the feel of those dry lips pressed upon mine, in
the emaciated face, in the big shining eyes of that being as light as a
feather, a passionate mournfulness of seduction, a tenacious clinging to
the appointed fate, that suddenly overawed my movement of rage. I laid
her down again, and covered my face with my hands. She called out to
Castro. He reeled, as if drunk, and waited at the head of her couch,
with his chin dropped on his breast. “_Vuestra, Señoria_,” he muttered.
“Listen well, Castro.” Her voice was very faint, and each word came
alone, as if shrunk and parched. “Can my gold--the promise of much
gold--you know these men--save the lives...?”
He uttered a choked cry, and began to tremble, groping for her hand.
“_Si, Señorita_. Excellency, _si_. It would. Mercy. Save me. I am too
old to bear this. Gold, yes; much gold. Manuel....”
“Listen, Castro.... And Don Juan?” His head fell again. “Speak the
truth, Castro.”
He struggled with himself; then, rattling in his throat, shrieked “No!”
with a terrible effort. “No. Nothing can save thy English lover.”
“Why?” she breathed feebly. He raged at her in his weakness. Why?
Because the order had gone forth; because they dared not disobey.
Because she had only gold in the palm of her hand, while Señor O’Brien
held all their lives in his. The accursed _Juez_ was for them like
death itself that walks amongst men, taking this one, leaving another.
He was their life, and their law, and their safety, and their
death--and the _caballero_ had not killed him....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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