Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiaritiesFinck, Henry T.
Science
Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiarities
Finck, Henry T.
Beauty, Personal; Love
_Retrospective and Prospective Jealousy._—There are three kinds of
modern Jealousy—Retrospective, Present, and Prospective. The rejected
lover’s Jealousy is of the third kind; it refers not to what is, but to
what will or may be. Another variety of Prospective Jealousy is
illustrated by a story told in a Moscow journal of an old peasant who
married a young girl of whom he was very jealous. On his deathbed he
expressed a desire to give her a last kiss. But hardly had she touched
him, when he seized her under lip and fastened his teeth so tightly in
it that a knife had to be used to pry them open. With his dying breath
he confessed that his object had been to mutilate her, so that no one
else might marry her.
Is it not possible that the custom of burning widows in India was at
first an outcome of the Jealousy of some influential ruler who set the
fashion?
Present Jealousy does not call for any special remarks, but
Retrospective Jealousy has some curious features. It is entirely
non-existent not only among those savage tribes who scorn virgin brides,
but among some semi-civilised peoples in Africa and Asia where the men
prefer to marry women with a dowry, no matter how they may have earned
it.
In modern love Retrospective Jealousy is often very strong, especially
in men who, though they do not hesitate to marry a girl who has been
engaged before, would not care to dwell on the details of the previous
engagement. Women, too, have been known to indulge in this futile form
of Jealousy. Thus Heine relates in one of his letters that at the
special request of his Mathilde, he got her a copy of the French edition
of his _Pictures of Travel_. “But hardly had she read a few pages, when
she turned deadly pale, trembled in all her limbs, and begged me for
heaven’s sake to close the book. She had come upon a love-scene in it,
and jealous as she is, she does not even want me to have adored another
_before_ her _régime_; indeed, I had to promise her that in future I
would not address any language of love even to the imaginary ideal
personages in my books.”
The trouble with Heine is that one never knows exactly when he is
relating facts and when indulging in fun and fiction. As a rule,
certainly women are not much troubled by Jealousy regarding the past. If
the lover promises to be a good boy in future and give them a monopoly
of his adoration, they are rarely disquieted by the question, “Has he
been in love before?” Indeed, there is a current notion that women
admire a man all the more for being a Don Juan or professional
lady-killer. Perhaps, however, this is putting the cart before the
horse: for, instead of admiring him because he is a lady-killer, is it
not possible that he is a lady-killer because they all admire him?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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