Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiaritiesFinck, Henry T.
Science
Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiarities
Finck, Henry T.
Beauty, Personal; Love
_How Love intensifies Emotions._—But is it literally true that in Love,
as Mr. Spencer puts it, “purely personal pleasures are doubled by being
shared with another?” It is true; though the way in which this is done
is difficult to explain. No psychologist, so far as I am aware, has
cracked the nut. I have given considerable thought to the subject, and
venture to offer the following three suggestions as to the method by
which Love doubles our pleasures:—
(1) The lover’s pleasures are increased by the simple process of
_emotional addition_. That is, supposing him to be reading a poem or
story to his beloved, he will experience at one and the same moment not
only the emotions inspired by the poem or novel he is reading, but those
due to the sense of her presence. As the mind does not stop to analyse
its feelings at such moments, all these various pleasurable emotions
will coalesce into one seemingly homogeneous feeling of happiness; just
as two complementary colours, or all the colours of the rainbow, if
mixed, will produce the simple sensation called white.
(2) The second way in which sympathetic companionship intensifies a
lover’s feelings is through what may be called _emotional resonance_. If
you take a violin-string in your hands, stretch it tightly, and then get
some one to pluck it, a very faint sound only will be heard. But put it
in its proper place, over the resonant surface of the instrument, and it
will produce a full, loud, mellow tone. A human countenance is such an
instrument—a sort of emotional sounding-board. Every man feels more or
less pleased with himself if he gets off at table what he considers a
wise or witty remark. If the sounding-boards of his neighbours vibrate
responsively to his jokes, he feels proud and is doubly pleased; but if
they only grin politely, the tone of his self-satisfaction is
immediately lowered an octave and dies away pianissimo. Now between
lovers such a fiasco is absolutely impossible. _They_ never grin at one
another’s sayings for the sake of politeness merely. His most
platitudinous remarks are sure to start a symphony of smiles on her
countenance, where another man’s wittiest epigrams would be barely
rewarded with a slight curl of the lips; and as for him, she may say
anything she pleases, he never knows what she says but hears only the
music of her voice—as if her words were the text, the rising and falling
of her voice the melody, of an Italian opera. No wonder lovers are so
exclusively interesting to each other, and such unmitigated bores to
other people.
Unfortunately lovers’ sympathy is rarely complete or durable. Sooner or
later some difference of taste or opinion is discovered which has the
same effect as a crack in the sounding-board—the resonance is destroyed.
Yet it can be restored by using glue; and violin-builders will tell you
that a glued instrument is often better than one which has never had a
crack.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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