Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiaritiesFinck, Henry T.
Science
Romantic Love and Personal Beauty: Their development, causal relations, historic and national peculiarities
Finck, Henry T.
Beauty, Personal; Love
How crudely utilitarian the conjugal bond is among primitive men may be
inferred from Mr. Wallace’s remarks already quoted as to the motives
which guide the maidens of certain Amazon-valley tribes in choosing
their husbands. There is, he says, “a trial of skill at shooting with
the bow and arrow, and if the young man does not show himself a good
marksman, the girl refuses him, on the ground that he will not be able
to shoot fish and game enough for the family.”
With the ancient “classical” nations there were, unless the poets have
strongly idealised their characters, examples of conjugal affection
hardly differing from the most refined modern instances. Owing to the
then prevalent contempt for the female mind, however, such cases cannot
be accepted as fair samples of the “general article”; and they only
allow us to infer that, as with Love and with genius, so with conjugal
affection, there were some early perfect instances anticipating by many
centuries the general course of emotional evolution.
In the dark and warlike mediæval ages Conjugal Love, on the woman’s
side, was apparently little more, as a rule, than a sense of devotion to
her husband based on her need of protection against barbarous enemies;
and what it was on the husband’s side may be inferred from his stern and
often tyrannic rule in his own house, which was calculated to breed in
his wife and children fear but neither conjugal nor filial affection.
In modern Conjugal Affection the elements are as diverse and as
variously intermingled as in Love, if not more so; and it would be as
difficult to find two cases of conjugal love exactly alike as two human
faces, or two leaves in a forest. One man cherishes his wife chiefly on
account of the home comfort she provides—the neat and tasteful domestic
interior, the well-cooked dinners, the economic attention to household
affairs, etc. Another man’s pride in his spouse is based on her
conversational skill, her diplomatic art of asserting her place among
the upper ten in society, and of adorning her drawing-rooms with the
presence of prominent people of the day. A third husband loves his wife
for her artistic accomplishments or her personal charms. Still another,
an author, is devoted to his spouse because she cleverly assists his
labours by criticism and suggestion, and still more because she takes
such a sympathetic interest in his creations, and _really_ thinks that
no one since Shakspere has written like her own dear Adolphus.
These and a thousand like circumstances, with their attendant feelings,
enter into the highly complex group of emotions subsumed under the name
of Conjugal Love. Yet, since any one of these feelings may be absent
without extinguishing Conjugal Affection, they cannot be regarded as its
essentials or framework, but only as colouring material.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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