England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction; Single men -- Fiction
I don’t know how it is with my contemporaries, but the truth about me is
that at thirty I was much surer of myself and of accepted dogma than I am
at seventy. At thirty, if I had heard a young girl remark that chastity
is absurdly overrated, I should have been shocked; to-day I find myself
capable of wondering if it may not be true: if we do not, in protecting
that shadow, allow much sound substance to deteriorate? Doctors see more
than most spectators, and with these eyes I have watched many and many an
open-natured girl shrivel into an old maid and her finer juices turn to
gall—all because she was not wooed and had not the courage to defy
convention and woo for herself. The older one grows, the smaller is the
number of sins. I can enumerate very few now, and if I live much longer
there will be only one, and that is meanness.
“Aren’t our bodies our own, to do as we like with?” is a question that
may be said to be in the air in these days. And how explain to any young
person, girl or boy, that the answer is No?
Rose was not, so far as I could tell, as modern as this. But of course I
could not hope for complete knowledge of her, even if I had probed for
it. December and April are not confidants: at most they can be
sympathetic. Such insight as I had into her philosophy and creed of
living had to be gathered from generalities: from her comments on the
day’s news, from her selective readings aloud from the papers, from her
attitude to local misdemeanour: whether lenient or censorious. Lenience
was certainly her tendency. In the idiom of to-day she was “for” all
insurrectionists; she could even find it in her heart to be sorry for
miners. “I don’t wonder they strike, poor things. The mystery is how
they can go on digging that horrid black stuff at all, in the pitch dark
too, no matter how much you pay them.”
* * * * *
It was one afternoon when Rose was eighteen that I realized that she was
no longer merely a girl. Suddenly the peace of the garden was invaded by
a series of snorts and explosions, and a motor-car rushed up the
drive—one of those absurd little cars, very small and low, like an
important roller skate, with just room for two, and a naked nymph in
silver and without shame poised over the bonnet by way of mascot. The
kind of vehicle brought into existence to meet the demands of
second-lieutenants. Immediately afterwards I was told that a gentleman
wished to see me, and behold there he was, in the sitting-room—a tall
young man with a tiny moustache exactly the same width as his nose, and
purple socks. Although obviously not lacking in self-assurance, he
advanced rather nervously.
“What can I do for you?” I asked. “You know I have retired from
practice.”
“O, it isn’t about any old malady,” he explained. “Thank Heaven I’m as
fit as a fiddle. The fact is, I wanted to ask your advice. It’s
about—Miss, Miss Holt.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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