Rosamond’s breath came short, shudders ran through her. She laid down
in its turn this record of the fever of a man’s mind and took up the
last sheet. The last sheet! This was, indeed, the end! It was dated,
carefully written without any of the wildness or disjointedness of the
previous entries. The strong man on the verge of action would do all
things as became a soldier, even to his final letter to his beloved.
Rosamond, my wife, I have decided to lead the counter-attack
myself to-night. Leicester is incapacitated. Bethune’s head is
stronger than mine, now, and should the suspense be longer
delayed and the relief fail, he will make a better job of it
than I should here. Yufzul shows no sign of budging, and we
begin to suspect he is reckoning on fresh reinforcements. Do
not think that I should throw away that life which belongs to
you without just reason. When you get this letter (perhaps
after all I shall come back to-night to tear it up) you will
know that I went out with the full acceptance of the inevitable.
God keep you, Rosamond! My mother taught me to believe. I
could not have remembered her all these years of manhood and
forgotten my God. And to-night I am strong. What is to be, will
be right. I kneel before you and I kiss your sweet hands, and I
bless you.—Your HARRY.
The woman read and dropped the letter on her lap. Was that all? The
end, the end! It was impossible. He could not have left her like that.
There must be more from him. One word, one last word. And she did not
even know how he died. There was no God, or life could not be so cruel!
She was tearing, with maddened fingers, in the depths of the box....
Why will women hoard the orange blossom of their bridal hopes that it
may torture them with its hideous relentless sweetness, when fate has
fulfilled its mockery upon them!
Harry’s pocket-book—the familiar old pocket-book! It fell apart in her
hands. A portrait.... Her own face looked out on her with serious
girl’s eyes. She flung it from her: she had nothing in common with that
creature. Then she caught it up again and kissed the worn leather with
wild passion. Dear fingers had touched it. He had worn it, who knows,
over his dear heart.... Plans, service notes—"range to the shoulder of
the North Bluff works out at 1300." Lists of stores, calculations of
stores and rations, gone over and over again. Oh, misery, there is
sorrow beyond what human strength can bear! To think of him in these
sordid straits of hunger, to stay on that thought is more than she can
do and live. And she cannot die yet: she must know first.
Ah! a letter, still in its envelope inviolate, addressed to Mrs. Harry
English. Not his the hand. Oh, then, it is that he is dead now indeed!
Broken woman with her belated grief, what wonder that her brain should
work confusedly!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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