How far was she from guessing at the complex emotions that made the
heart, against which she leaned, beat so heavily; from guessing that
this very haste, this wilfully informal departure, this quick marriage
itself, were all part of the determined act of renunciation he had
sealed in his soul, with the touch of her lips on his! Renunciation, it
is true, of no more tangible passion than a thought. Yet, had she
known, she need not have feared, for he who can renounce the insidious
sweetness of a dream, need fear no overthrow from realities.
As for her, her marriage was the irresponsible mating of a little bird.
And she was setting forth with as airy a freedom, with as busy and
cheerful an importance, as any small winged lady of the woods on the
flight to choose a favourable aspect for her nest.
As the vehicle wheeled out of the noiseless grassy avenue upon the
moorland road, Bethune caught her to him, and kissed her with more of
ardour than he had ever shown.
"And so, Robin," said he, "you are going to set all traditions at
defiance, and pipe your pretty songs in the morning land."
Mrs. Bethune smiled importantly; she still chose to keep up the fiction
that in matrimony she by no means intended to give up her musical
career, that career, with a capital C, that she had so often flourished
defiantly in Sir Arthur’s face! But, in her heart, she knew very well
that when she had let love enter in, it had driven forth ambition.
*CHAPTER II*
A keen wind swept from the moor, shaking the sap of the drowsy orchard
trees, setting the daffodil buds in the sheltered corners dancing,
flecking the blue sky with sudden patches of cloud: a day typical of the
bright, cruel, energies of youth, scurrying old tired mother earth into
activity, ruthlessly eager to set her about her business and call up the
joys of spring.
Saltwoods seemed very quiet and empty, standing alone with its memories,
in the midst of this cheery bustle of the world without.
Rosamond wandered from room to room, restless alike from weakness and
the strain of her dear, wonderful expectation. How long must she wait
still? The opiate-effect of her languor had passed and it seemed to her
that the suspense of these hours she could not endure. And then, all at
once, behold, they had gone by!—The moment was at hand, and she was not
ready.
She stood before the mirror, looking wistfully upon her white tresses.
She wanted to appear beautiful in his eyes. But, alas! she had lost the
golden crown of her woman’s glory.... This grey dress that she had
chosen, because some such colour had she worn upon the gorse-gold shore
those many years ago, it was too pale, too cold, she thought, now that
the sunshine of her hair had vanished.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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