I could not sleep (went on the letter) for sheer tumult of
happiness. I saw the dawn break over the water out on the sea
bastion of this old fort. The sea was quite wrapt in mist, and I
and my heart seemed first alone high up in the air, with the
wash of the invisible waters below and the restless tapping of
the flag line on the staff over my head. And then the dawn
came. It seemed to me the first dawn I had ever beheld, I, who
have marched through many an Indian night and seen such fires as
England never dreams of. But I look upon the world with new
eyes. The meaning of things has become clear to me. I never
saw beauty before I saw you; and through you, all other beauty
is fulfilled to me. Grey and dove-coloured and pearl, faint
roses and yellows and opals—the mists first became impregnated
with all lovely tints and then rolled away. Then there was a
straight ray of sun across the sea at my feet, and the water was
gold and green. Glorious! Why do I write all this to you? I
have never even thought of such things before. Will you laugh at
me? I, who have known you for such a little while? But I have
waited for you all the years of my manhood—this much I know at
least. And you, who are the meaning of everything to me now,
you will know the meaning of my heart.
All the meaning of her lover to Rosamond Tempest, in the top room over
the straggling back garden, had been that he was her deliverer from an
existence of utter negation. She had read his words with the same
pleasure with which she had gazed upon his flowers, inhaled their
fragrance: it had represented a new atmosphere of colour and beauty!
But now, as she bent over that faded leaf and read those vivid words
from a hand long dust, her whole being gave itself responsive to the
love that still spoke.
* * * * *
In the garden below, under the nipped frost-bitten leaves, Aspasia poked
about for hidden violets. From its bare brown stalks she had already
culled the last dwindled chrysanthemum. When Rosamond and she, in the
marshalled palace of Sir Arthur, had planned this homely occupation, it
had seemed an almost deliriously joyful prospect of freedom. Now, such
is the futility of the granted wish, Aspasia, as she flicked with
impatient fingers among the wet foliage, was a prey to that abandonment
of melancholy which is rarely known in its perfection after twenty.
Indeed, poor Baby’s outlook upon the world that December noon was a
pitiable one. The only man she could have loved was dead before she had
even known him! Another man, whom she was certain she could never have
cared for, displayed the most reprehensible indifference as to whether
he were as much as remembered. And those wonderful piano recitals of
the gifted young genius, Miss Aspasia Cuningham, seemed hopelessly
remote.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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