There rose before Neale now the restless, unhappy face of the young
Frenchman he had come to know in Bourges, who one evening as they sat in
the park near the Cathedral, poured out to him in a bitter flood his
horrified sense of the closing in on him of bonds which he hated, which
were being forged around him by the irresistible forces of social
tradition and family affection. Fighting helplessly against overwhelming
odds, he was slowly being shoved into becoming a _petit fonctionnaire_
in Bourges for all his life.... "_Here_, in this _hole_!" he had cried
looking around him with wild young eyes, like a rat in a trap. But there
was his dear Maman's certainty that this feeling was mere youth, that he
would soon settle down, and be contented in his office, and always,
always be quite close to her; there was the relief of the family far and
wide, now that he was _safe_, safe for life in a good little position
with a nice little pension at the end! "Safe! How I loathe being safe!"
he had cried. "Why wasn't I born three hundred years ago, so that I
could have gone out with Champlain! Or later with Du Chaillou?"
In spite of all his sympathy for the poor kid, Neale hadn't seen then
nor could he see now why anybody need wait for a Champlain or a Du
Chaillou to come along. It looked as though the boy's grievance was
because what he was meant to do didn't happen to be in fashion when he
lived. Neale couldn't see what prevented him from getting right up on
his feet from off the bench where he agonized, and marching off to the
nearest port to work his way to Senegal, if that was where he thought
he'd have the chance to use that latent stifled something in him which
could never live in Bourges. Of course, it would give his mother a jolt,
but if she was any kind of a mother, she'd want her son to have what was
best for him. That was sure, if anything was. And as for the cousins and
the aunts and uncles butting in ... to hell with them! What business was
it of theirs?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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