His one aim now was to get a word alone with Ruth, and hastily looking
round the room, he saw her sitting near the hearth. But there was no
chance to approach her, or to speak without being overheard by the whole
family. Every member of the household was present, it being the evening
hour when all households come closest together around the fireside. The
supper-table was laid, and a servant moved about lighting the lamps and
candles. William Pressley was sitting near Ruth, but it was she who had
last taken a seat and he was silent, save as some timid advance from her
compelled him to make a coldly civil reply. His resentment was as
implacable as ever; the wound to his self-love had only grown deeper
with nursing, as it always does with a nature like his. The breaking of
the engagement was with him, now, merely a question of timeliness, of
discretion and expediency. In these matters he was not considering
Ruth's feelings as she was considering his, despite her own most eager
wish to be free. He was thinking first of the light in which he,
himself, would be placed. After this he was considering Philip Alston's
view of his conduct. Knowing that he wished the marriage to take place,
William Pressley felt reasonably sure that Philip Alston would be
displeased at any breach, and that he would make his displeasure felt,
should the first movement toward the breaking of the engagement come
from himself. The displeasure of Philip Alston was not a thing to be
lightly incurred at any time. No one knew this better than William
Pressley, and he saw it to be particularly undesirable to displease him
and possibly incur his enmity, just at the moment when his good-will
might be useful in the matter of the appointment. William Pressley did
not believe Philip Alston's influence to be at all essential--merit was
in his opinion the only essential. Still it seemed best, under the
circumstances, to let the engagement stand till a time more auspicious
for breaking it. And then his sore self-love found some balm in the
girl's self-reproach, which he saw plainly enough, without understanding
it in the least. It was like him to consider the effect which the
breaking of the engagement might have on his political prospects, and to
postpone it on the bare chance of its affecting them adversely. But it
was still more like him merely to postpone it with an immovable
determination in his mind, utterly unaffected by all the girl's winning
gentleness and open regret. And it was most of all like him never for an
instant to allow any thought of Philip Alston's fortune to make him
waver. All the gold in the world could have done nothing to make William
Pressley forget, or forgive, the wound which his self-love had received.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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